You’re looking for a high quality man. So does that mean you have to be perfect, no flaws at all, for a good man to love you? And what do men even really want? Today we’ll discuss what high quality men REALLY expect from a high quality woman like you, so you can start to really prepare for your soulmate.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

– Do you have to be perfect?

– What men TRULY look for in a woman

– What you SHOULD focus on

READY TO CHANGE YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR THE BETTER, FOREVER?

If you’re ready for the first step towards major transformation & true love at last, head over to https://singletosoulmate.com/call to book a FREE 1-on-1 call with Lara herself. She’ll assess exactly what’s been holding you back in love, how to get what you REALLY want, and if or how we can help you get it as quickly as possible.

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Episode Transcription Start —>
S6EP40

Speaker1: [00:00:04] Hello and welcome to single The Soulmate Podcast.

Speaker2: [00:00:07] Where we help you, the love warrior or love word to be to go from single to with your soulmate. Living the life of your dreams. There’s this story of a single woman smart, savvy, soulful, holding out for the right man for her, what she called the perfect man. After years of searching, she found him. He was handsome, wealthy, attentive, wanted a family. And he was looking for the perfect woman. They met and began to date. The only thing was they kept finding imperfection in each other. And eventually he realized that she wasn’t the perfect woman. And she realized he wasn’t the perfect man. So they couldn’t be together. And so the search continued. So that’s not a story about people who just didn’t click. That’s a story about perfectionism. Also what we call the perfect man trap. So have you fallen into that trap? Now, before I go on, I’m not saying don’t strive to be the best person possible for you. You want to be the best you you can be. You want to find the right person for you and not settle. Absolutely. But this idea of perfection keeps far too many wonderful women from experiencing real love in their lives. And after working with thousands of women over the last ten plus years, I’m going to share with you three perfection myths that we’ve seen keeping love away from so many women.

Speaker2: [00:01:50] And I’ll also share with you how it all leads into the perfect man trap. So perfection. Myth number one. I have to be what he wants me to be. If I don’t, he won’t love me. Now, this is just a crazy making thing because, first of all, he barely even knows what he wants. Second, we can barely get ourselves to do what we want to do. But getting ourselves to be or do what someone else wants is just impossible and really a recipe for disaster. Now, as a happily married man, I can tell you that my life is better, my life is enhanced, and I fall more in love with Laura when she is herself, when she simply radiates her own beingness. And I’m constantly surprised by how much more I love her and how much better my life is when she does things and just is in the world in a way that I didn’t even think of. And that’s key. Now we’re different men and women. So what I think is what should be done and what she thinks should be done are going to be different. And that’s a good thing. I mean, everything from what to eat, what she should wear, how our homes should be decorated to where we should go for vacation, and even, you know, who we should socialize with and how exactly that should go down.

Speaker2: [00:03:14] Does that mean I’m not part of those conversations or decision making process? Of course not. Some more so than others. But when she is simply herself. I love that. And far too many women are not in touch with their truth and are so used to not speaking their truth that when they finally do, if they do, it happens like in a blow up rather than calm conversation. That’s a topic for another podcast episode, that whole like passive aggressive thing. Anyway, so you don’t have to be what he wants you to be. You have to be who you want to be and getting in touch with who you are, the kind of thing that we do in all of our programs is critical for this. So you don’t fall into that trap of thinking it’s all about him. You have to be who you want to be or the right man, for you won’t even see you, feel you, or be able to connect with authentic and yes, the imperfectly perfect you. And when you are that person, you are an enhancement for the right man for you, just like he’s an enhancement for you. All right, perfection. Myth number two My hair, makeup and outfit have to be perfect, or he’ll think I’m a mess.

Speaker2: [00:04:36] Let me just share with you the reality. We barely notice that stuff now. We notice the overall effect, but we don’t notice details like you do. Like, it’s hard to imagine, but we men, we rarely can even tell the difference between a red dress and a raspberry colored dress or a scarlet red dress. I mean, most of us can’t tell the difference between perfectly done makeup and makeup from this morning. Now we can tell the difference between makeup and no makeup. Yeah, but that’s kind of like about it. But all that worry about the perfect makeup, the perfect hair, the perfect outfit is really just misplaced pressure on yourself for no reason. We do appreciate the time and effort that you put into those things, but the best thing you can wear is a genuine, warm, inviting smile and that shine so much brighter than anything else you may be wearing or saying. All right, time for perfection. Myth number three I have to lose these extra £20 or he won’t notice me. Or if he does, he won’t love me. And let me share with you the reality. For a good man, for the right man, for you. If you love you, then he will love you. This one is a lot like the previous myth I just shared.

Speaker2: [00:06:01] This is really a lot of undue pressure that so many women put on themselves. Now sure you want to be healthy and look and feel your best, but it’s really about how you feel about yourself that matters more than anything. And we all have insecurities, you know. Men do, too. But the more you know and love who you are, the less those extra £20 will mean to anyone. If you love you, the chances of a good man loving you will skyrocket. And yes, that’s with or without your clothes on. Few of us look like the models we see in the magazines. I mean, even the models don’t look like that. Most of them have the benefit of, you know, like super uber professional makeup artists and Photoshop, and a real man knows that you’re a real person just like he is, warts worries and all. So how is that all related to the perfect man trap? Well, when you’re pressuring yourself with unrealistic expectations, waiting to find love or even to try to find love in loving yourself and how to attract soulmate love, then you’re doing the same thing with him. A lot of pressure and no one can stand up to that kind of scrutiny, which of course, is often what’s going on underneath a perfectionism is a lot of fear, is fear of being hurt, fear of the messiness of life.

Speaker2: [00:07:31] Brené Brown called it with this quote about perfectionism. She said, Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. It’s a shield. Perfectionism is a 20 ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us, when in fact it’s the thing that really prevents us from being seen and taking flight. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I mean, look, he’s not Brad Pitt, Barack Obama, Ryan Gosling and Richard Branson all rolled into one just like you aren’t your own model of perfection you may have in your head. If I had to be perfect to be Laura’s soulmate, she’d still be waiting. I’m not perfect, and neither is she. But when we did the personal development work, to be ourselves, to know ourselves, to love ourselves. She did the work to draw me in the same stuff that we teach our clients. We find that not only can you love yourself more, but you can love that right man for you. And he may not be perfect, but he’ll be perfect for you. And you don’t have to worry about being perfect, just being yourself. Begin to allow yourself to know that you’ll be perfect for him if you are yourself.

Speaker1: [00:08:58] Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode. If you’re a single professional woman who wants your success in your love life to match your success in your career or business, and you’re looking to get crystal clear right now about why Truelove just hasn’t been knocking on your door and and what you can do about it. You’re going to want to book a Love Breakthrough Clarity call right now with one of our love breakthrough specialists. She’ll get on the phone or zoom call with you one on one to assess exactly what’s been hot. Holding you back and love what it is you really want and how to get there as quickly as possible. By the end of this compassionate and professional assessment, you’ll finally have clarity, plus an immediately actionable path forward. So just go to single to soulmate dot com forward slash call to book a call that’s single to soulmate dot com for slash call for a free love breakthrough call. That’s for you. If you’re a single professional woman who is as serious about your love life right now as you’ve been about getting your degree or your career or business success. And if you’re ready to finally have some clarity and have a breakthrough in your love life right now, this is perfect for you. Again, that’s single to soulmate dot com forward slash call to book your life changing one on one assessment call right away.

Episode Transcription End —>

Hope you enjoyed this episode of Single to Soulmate! If you want to learn more about Johnny and Lara or want to start your own soulmate journey, go to johnnyandlara.com.