If you want to avoid attracting jerks and having terrible dates and are truly READY to attract your soulmate, you NEED to understand these 4 key traits. Listen to this episode to find out what they are and what they mean for YOU

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

– Why & how your “vibe” affects your love life

– The 4 key traits to look for in men

– How you can attract your soulmate by looking out for these 4 key traits in yourself too

WANT TO BETTER UNDERSTAND YOURSELF IN JUST 2 MINUTES?

After over 17 years of helping hundreds of women find their soulmates, we’ve identified 5 different Love Patterns, each with different characteristics that can keep you from finding true love.

Find what your Love Pattern is and what to do about it by taking our free, 2 minute quiz. Just go to https://singletosoulmate.com/quiz, discover your Love Pattern, and learn what changes you can make starting TODAY.

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Episode Transcription Start —>
S6EP22

Speaker1: [00:00:03] Hello and welcome to single The Soulmate.

Speaker2: [00:00:06] Podcast where we help you, the love warrior or love word to be to go from single to with your soulmate. Living the life of your dreams.

Speaker1: [00:00:18] Hi there. So I’m Laura Fernandez, and I am a holistic love coach and life coach. And together with my husband Johnny, we’ve been married for almost 22 years now and we have been coaching and leading amazing women to love for 17 over 17 years now. And what I wanted to share with you today is the four key traits that you’re going to need to look for in the men that you date. So let’s start with that. So first of all, what I want to say here, though, before I kind of dive right into like the kind of content of it, what I want to share is. If you are the kind of woman who’s getting out there, you’ve been trying you’ve you’ve tried the dating apps, maybe even hired a matchmaker. You’ve been out there, maybe you’ve had some blind dates, or maybe you’re freshly divorced right now or freshly out of a relationship and you’re just kind of like reeling and trying to kind of get yourself, you know, I don’t know, get your groove back. No matter what. You’re going to need to know these four key traits to look for in men and the four key traits that you’re going to need to cultivate and step into for yourself at a whole new level. For you to be able to quickly and and really effortlessly attract the right man for you. So I’m going to share that with you.

Speaker1: [00:01:46] But I want you to know there is a there’s a saying, have you probably heard it? What you’re seeking is seeking you. What you’re seeking is seeking you. And that’s a beautiful saying. And it it really kind of gives single women a lot of hope. I’m out there looking in, so my guy is looking for me. But there’s another way to interpret that saying. And that’s what I’m going to start off here with. The vibe you’re giving off is the vibe you’re attracting in. So it’s a little bit of tough love there. So now we’re going to keep that in mind as we talk about this. The vibe that you’re giving off is the vibe that you’re attracting in. So the four key traits in men that you need to look for. Number one, what you want in an equality man is decisiveness, decisiveness. So you want the kind of man he’s not wishy washy with you. He doesn’t put off going on on a date with you. He lets you know that he is interested in you and that he is pursuing you and is not wishy washy. Right. I mean, isn’t that I don’t know if there’s anything more annoying than a man who doesn’t let you know how he feels now. If he doesn’t like you, let you know so you can be. So you can just move on and, like, get on with your life and don’t drag it out.

Speaker1: [00:03:09] Right. Decisiveness, number one. That’s the number one. Number two is commitment. So you need to know how to recognize a commitment, marriage minded man and do it quickly. So that’s your decision making framework, that’s your picker. That’s how you choose men. And so you need to learn how to recognize a commitment minded man versus a man who’s just looking for one thing and he’s just looking to play with you. That’s number two. Number three, you want to really know that he has commitment, that he has a excuse me, that he’s. Well, I already said commitment, that he has character and thinking of C’s commitment and character. So you want to look at his character. Is he a man who stands up for his values? Is he a man who is a stand up citizen? Is he a man that you can that you can really respect and you can look up to? Right. This is super important. So you want to have character and like shared values there with him. That’s number three. Number four is you want a man who cherishes you. You want a man who respects you, treat you like a queen, treat you as if you’re valuable and as if you matter. And as of your dreams and as if what you want really, really, really matters in life. So I’m going to review those with you because it’s super important.

Speaker1: [00:04:38] Number one, decisiveness. Number two, commitment. Number three, character, shared values. And number four, he cherishes you and treats you well. Now let’s go into the next thing, the four key traits that you’re going to need to cultivate in yourself. Number one. Decisiveness. Decisiveness? No. Wishy washy. If you want to attract a quality man, a man who will put a ring on your finger, you are going to need to be decisive yourself. This is one of the key traits I see in our successful clients is decisiveness. You can’t be half assed about this because in today’s day and age it is not the same. The dating world is not the same as it was 20, 30, 40 years ago is a different world now. And I know you recognize that your parents, your grandparents could not have taught you could not have prepared you for the kind of world that we are in right now. So you’re going to have to develop different traits than your mom had and your grandma had. So that’s decisiveness. You got to be you cannot be wishy washy, like, oh, yeah, it’d be nice to have a relationship someday. That kind of energy, that kind of energy is not attractive to a high quality, commitment minded, marriage minded man who has true love, marriage and family on his mind and heart. A man who is a provider. So you want to be decisive and clear that this is important to you.

Speaker1: [00:06:20] That’s number one. Number two. Notice how this is reflecting back what you want to look for in a man. Number two committed. You need to be committed to your dream of true love, marriage and family. It needs to be high, a high priority. And when I say a high priority, there’s a lot of women who come to me and tell me that it’s a high priority, but their actions don’t show it at all. Just like you want your man to prioritize you and you want his actions to show to you that he is prioritizing you. You have to prioritize your love life and becoming the kind of woman that could attract a man, a quality man, not just any old schlub, to put that ring on your finger, to step up for you. So you have to have that level of commitment to this. It has to be important enough because in today’s day and age, it’s too easy for true love, marriage and family to just not happen. Yeah. Just. You spent your time, your energy, your resources on your education, which is a wonderful thing. Then you spent your time, your energy and resources on building a career, which is good. Just thinking that true love and marriage would kind of fall in your lap. Now, that used to happen a lot more than it does now. It occasionally, so happens. But I’m not talking about just any man, right? Like there are people who just get lucky.

Speaker1: [00:07:49] But that doesn’t always necessarily mean that they are lucky with the most amazing man for them. So your commitment to your dream needs to be a higher level than it was for your mom and for your grandmom. It has to be a high priority or it just won’t happen. I get on the phone every day with women in their fifties and sixties who wish they had placed it as high enough of a priority in their thirties and forties. Every day I get on the phone and it has to be that high, high level of priority. That’s number two. Number three. What you want to cultivate in your own self is your own character and high values. What I mean by that is no hookups, no leaky energy. When I say leaky energy, leaky energy is when you are hanging around with ex-boyfriend and ex husband. Just yeah. Thinking it’s cool to be friends. That is leaky energy. You need to clear the slate energetically so that you are doing through doing these doing all of these practices that I’m talking about. Right. And really fixing your picker, learning how to how to choose man and choose choose the right man for you. Having a solid decision making framework, becoming the best version of yourself. You need to have no leaky energy so that you can be a clear, a clear welcome to the right man for you so that you can even recognize when he shows up.

Speaker1: [00:09:20] Super important. So your character, you want a man of high character and high values that matches yours. You need to be that now. So don’t waste your energy on hookups. Don’t pretend in your mind thinking that those hookups are going to become something they rarely do. Most of the time, all the hookups do, and all those little short term relationships situation ships do. Is they drain you? Yeah, it’s great. The sex is great. It’s nice to have somebody to hug somebody contact with somebody. But ultimately what it does is it puts you in a downward spiral where you doubt yourself again and again and again. Every man you meet, you doubt yourself. And you’re giving off this energy. You’re giving off this energy that actually is the doubt. Puts up a wall and men can feel it. The doubt puts up some. It’s just like there’s a wall between you and the right man. So your character and your high values, you need to hold that up at a high standard for yourself before you can ever, ever hope to attract a man who holds you in high standards. And number four, you need to cherish and respect yourself. So just like you want a man to cherish you, you have to cherish and respect yourself. You have to treat yourself as valuable now, not someday.

Speaker1: [00:10:39] Right now, if you are constantly skimping on yourself, if you’re constantly depriving yourself, giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to other people. If you have ever categorized yourself as a giver, you I’m talking to you where you have given and given and given and given and never seen the results back. Do you know what I’m talking about? You’ve never gotten that back to you. If so, that is an energy that you want to start cultivating where you’re cherishing and respecting yourself. You’re investing yourself in yourself just like you want a man to invest in you. It starts with you. How on earth can you expect to attract a high quality man who invest time, energy and resources in yourself? In you, unless you’re doing it first? Again. It starts with you. So you are more powerful than you know. You’re more powerful than you’ve ever been taught. And that’s essentially what I’m telling you here. It starts with you. And remember how I started at the beginning of this Facebook Live? At the beginning of this, I said I said, what you seek is seeking you, which really means the vibe you’re giving off is the vibe that you are attracting in. So start by looking at yourself. Start by taking ownership of yourself. Start by getting real. Take some stock of your life stakes. Take stock of the kind of men you’ve been attracting so far and ask yourself, are they reflecting back to me? I mean, if you’re getting really real with yourself and you’re not like putting up a front, you’re not getting your ego in the way, you’ll find there’s something there.

Speaker1: [00:12:30] You’ll find there’s something there. When I came to this realization that I was the common denominator in all these relationships that didn’t work out, I’m the one who kept attracting the same kind of man who would show up as not as a commitment phobe, who would show up not ready, who would just want to hook up. I had to look at myself and I had to cultivate these four traits that I just talked to you about. And that’s how I could ever be be a an attractor for a high quality marriage minded man like Johnny. It started with me. So I’m inviting you to take a look at yourself and start taking ownership over those four traits. All right. So I hope this is helpful for you. If you’re really ready, if you feel like those four traits are something that you are ready to cultivate and that you’re actually really wanting to step up at a higher level in your love life for yourself, because it’s really, truly a priority. Like, it’s not like just a someday, not just like, well, we’ll see. It’ll be nice if it happens, but you’re like, this is like this is super important because I want true love marriage.

Speaker1: [00:13:35] And yes, I want to have a family because yeah, the clock is kind of ticking now. Don’t fool yourself anymore. Don’t fool yourself. Do something about it. I have a 45 minute master class that Johnny and I just prepared. We put hours and hours of our time to create a 45 minute masterclass for you. It’s free, but you have to step up for yourself. You have to be sick and tired of the games that you have been playing, maybe even with yourself, and then thus attracting guys who are playing games with you. So step up for yourself if you want to watch and you want to learn the five key traits, or rather not the five key traits, rather the five shifts. This is the next level. I’ve just talked to you about four traits. There’s five shifts that you’re going to need to make in order to go from single to soulmate. And 2022, this is what all of our clients have been doing. All of the successful clients are a result of women who decided to take these shifts and run with them. But you have to step up for you if it’s important enough to you, if your love life is important enough to you, I dare you to step up for yourself. So hope that’s helpful. Sending you lots of love. And I’ll look forward to talking to you very, very soon. Bye bye.

Speaker2: [00:14:52] Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode. Hey, if you’re looking to make a major leap forward in going from single to soulmate, be sure to check out our free masterclass to learn the five step strategy our clients use to meet and marry the man of their dreams without dumbing themselves down or using manipulative lines. Just go to single soulmate dot com forward slash learn that single to soulmate dot com forward slash learn for free Masterclass on how to unlock the love you deserve and a life of your dreams. Also, if you like this podcast, be sure to hit the subscribe button and maybe even leave us a review. Let us know what you love or just even like about the podcast. Because hey, when you leave us a quick and honest review that helps other awesome women, just like you discover this podcast and helps them learn, live and love better, just like you’re learning right now. So it’s a little bit of pay it forward, subscribe and leave us a review. Thanks so much.

Episode Transcription End —>

Hope you enjoyed this episode of Single to Soulmate! If you want to learn more about Johnny and Lara or want to start your own soulmate journey, go to johnnyandlara.com.