Are you simply tired of being single? Do you sometimes feel like just giving up on love? You don’t have to if you know what you need to do, learn how in this episode.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
– How to start working in your love life
– Why you can find true love

READY TO MAKE A DRAMATIC CHANGE IN YOUR LOVE LIFE?

If you are ready to take action and control over your love life to find the man of your dreams go to http://bit.ly/SingleToSoulmate-Call to book a FREE call with one of our Love Breakthrough Specialists to assess exactly what’s been holding you back in love, what is it you REALLY want, and how to get there as quickly as possible.

Want to know your Love Pattern? After over 15 years of helping women find their soulmate, we have identified 5 different Love Patterns, each with different characteristics that keep you from finding true love. You can find what your love pattern is and how to overcome it by taking our quiz. Just go to http://bit.ly/STS-LovePatternQuiz  

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Episode Transcription Start —>
S5EP15

Speaker1: [00:00:03] Hello and welcome to single The Soulmate.

Speaker2: [00:00:06] Podcast where we help you, the love warrior or love word to be to go from single to with your soulmate. Living the life of your dreams. Hey, they’re happy to be here for our today’s show. To Facebook Live. I don’t know if it’s a show, but anyway, today’s show, today’s episode here, we’re going to be talking about why men go from all in to not sure and and yet sometimes they still want to be friends. Plus, this is a AMA. Ask me anything, so feel free to comment below. Let me know what your questions are. If you’re here, go ahead and comment below to let me know that you are here. And because Facebook is doing a whole lot of funky stuff, let me know that this stuff is working today. I am our daughter works with us in the in the office sometimes. Now she’s away at school. She’s a graduate of high school last year. She’s away at school in Denmark. But when she’s in here, she wears these computer glasses and she’s doing some straightening out and saw this block’s from getting tired from the. Hey, Suzanne. Hey, Esther. Hey, Anna. And so I decided to just wear her computer glasses just for a different look. There you go. Something different to do. Hey, Melody. All right, so let’s talk about why men go from all in to. To not sure. And sometimes they still want to be friends.

Speaker2: [00:01:51] Hey, Lisa. And by the way, I want to thank Sonora. I hope I’m pronouncing that right and Becky, for submitting these questions, because I posted, hey, I’m going to be doing a Facebook Live every day this week. What topics do you want to hear? And Sonora and Becky, both these these two topics kind of intermingle. So I said I would answer them both today. So let’s talk about so when we look at why men do that, I want you to understand how we think. So we’ve been doing this for 15 years, helping women up level their lives, really transform their lives. And and in those 15 years, we’ve learned a lot about not just the recipe to follow in order to attract a good man, but what is it that women do to take themselves off course, take themselves in the opposite direction of where they want to go? And one of the and a big part of it is the decision making, like, how do you think? And so the example that I often give is if you find yourself at three in the morning in a dark alley with a gun, deciding, should I shoot this bad guy or that bad guy? And you’re not sure which one to shoot? The question isn’t which one to shoot. The question is how in God’s name did you end up at three in the morning in a dark alley with a gun deciding which bad guy to shoot? In other words, let’s look behind the situation that landed you in a spot where all your choices are bad.

Speaker2: [00:03:37] Right? And so that’s our approach to everything. And with 15 years of experience working with hundreds now really thousands of women, we see so many times how they take themselves off course, going in the opposite direction and then just keep going in that that bad direction. And so let’s let’s look at that. So why do men go from all into. Not sure. Hey, Alexandra, it’s just happened to you. Yeah. Good. So we’re going to be talking about about about this. So the I want you to understand how men think. Now, what we have seen is that the overwhelming majority, like 99% of women that meet with us here in this group, work with us in our advanced programs, walk in with a lot of misconceptions about how men think a lot like a lot like for a lot of misconceptions about him and think. And so you have to understand how men think in order to understand why is it that they go from all end to nature and stuff like that. And the big thing that you need to understand is that you as a woman, you are the the primary like navigator of this relationship. You actually set the tone for the relationship. Now, most women don’t know that.

Speaker2: [00:05:09] And so they are sitting back or they they set the tone or are. A navigator in the relationship in a very motherly way or in a very kind of like busy way. And neither one of those are very helpful. All right. So how you are in terms of setting the tone and and navigating that relationship has everything to do with what he’s going to do once he’s kind of all in. Right. So why do guys get all in? So you have to understand how men think that in the first like 5 minutes or less, he pretty much is evaluated. Whether you are in one of two categories you are in and this by the way, this works online, this works in in person where works no matter what. Men are far more simple than you ladies realize. And so we. But when you when you shift and change and you start to really understand how men men think, one of the biggest things that women that work with us in our advanced programs really appreciate is that unlike almost every other love coach out there where you’re just hearing from the woman, usually, occasionally just the man, most of the time they’re not married themselves. But you’re very, very, very rarely like I. I only know of a couple. Where you actually hearing from the man and the woman? And so a lot of things that are are women that work with us, that study with us.

Speaker2: [00:06:46] Appreciate is that you’re going to hear the man and the woman and you just can’t get that anyplace else because there’s a certain amount of consciousness about how men think that you can you can read it in a book, but you can’t get it unless you are in the male mind, which I am obviously. Right. So we don’t we men, we don’t think of ourselves as like that special. And I know that you think you’ve met guys that think of themselves as that special. I’m just telling you, that’s not how men think of themselves. I don’t care how much he’s coming across as like, I’m awesome. I’m the shit, all that stuff. That’s just not how guys think. And again, I know you think that your guy is different, but that’s not that’s not the truth. Here’s where that plays in. He has to feel like you are special and that makes him feel special. Now there’s a whole thing about how to attract men, like in terms of your online dating profile, which, by the way, if you’re not doing online dating right now, our clients are blowing up online dating because there’s more men than ever online and they’re more serious than ever because you’re not the only one who’s realizing with all of this shelter in place and quarantine and separation from people that, hey, you know, what really matters in life is relationships and not just a hookup, an actual real relationship.

Speaker2: [00:08:14] Men are realizing that, too, and they’re coming on online dating sites in droves. But most women’s online dating profiles are just, I don’t know, like horrible, bad, totally a turnoff to healthy guys. That’s a whole other story. But like, we have one client who just last week said, I’m actually talking with eight high quality guys right now. And I haven’t had I haven’t even met a high quality guys in the last five years. Last couple of weeks. But when you go through the whole process that we teach a whole online profile makeover process, stuff like that, and the whole mindset shift, that can be your reality. But the idea is you. Oh, the reason why I was bringing up online dating is that a lot of times women will say, Well, a guy is like, I want you to be funny, or I want you to be like, the guy that I’m attracted to is funny and this and that. And you’re basically describing a guy, and unless a guy is like a professional comedian, he doesn’t think of himself as funny. That’s just one little small example. But if you don’t think that you’re special, he’s not going to think that he’s special. And if you end up investing time with him, but he hasn’t had to work for it and earn your love, then he thinks that you’re easy.

Speaker2: [00:09:35] I did a Facebook live here or was an email I can’t remember about. You don’t want to be easy cool chick. You just don’t want to be easygoing cool chick. And and so if the. If you let’s see, you guys can hear me, right? I heard someone see someone saying they can’t hear me. If you don’t think that, you’re that special. In other words, you haven’t worked on your beliefs and behaviors around yourself. Love. You haven’t become your own soulmate first and you haven’t leveled your investment in you, meaning that you value yourself. What you’re going to find is that the guy will go all in early on, but eventually, pretty soon he’ll start to realize, number one, most of the time women are sleeping with men far too soon. Just point blank is not a message from the 1950s. This is just a reality of how men operate. I know that in hookup culture now, it’s like by the fourth date, if you’re not sleeping with each other, you know something’s wrong. But that’s totally off base. So what? Number one, women are sleeping with men too soon. He doesn’t have enough momentum built up to earn your. To earn your love. To earn time with you. The other thing is your easy, cool chick is far too easy to get time with you to get on the phone with you, to have a date with you.

Speaker2: [00:11:05] All of that type of stuff. We teach all that about how to how to manage that in a way that has the guy still moving toward you and a guy. Nowadays, women are being taught like you can pursue him, you can do stuff. You know, it’s a it’s a it’s a free country. You can do whatever you want. And you know what? It is a free country. You can do whatever you want. But if you pursue him, if you focus on doing stuff for him, if you basically are more masculine than feminine, which 100% of the women that we end up talking with really have extremely misguided understanding of what is feminine. You have a little bit more of a clue of what’s masculine because you know it when you see it. But what is feminine is usually off base. And the reason why that matters is that if you are more masculine without knowing it, then feminine, then you’re making it too easy on him. You’re helping him. You’re doing stuff for him. You’re you’re you’re smoothing the path for him to be with you. And so he will definitely spend time with you. He will definitely go all in with you. He’ll definitely sleep with you. But eventually he’ll realize I didn’t have to do much to be with her. That means she’s not that high of a value of a woman. In other words, she’s too.

Speaker2: [00:12:30] It was too easy for me to be with her. And that means since I’m not special, going back to how guys don’t think they’re that special since I’m not that special, that means she’s doing this with everybody. That means she could sleep with my friend. She could sleep with a guy down the street. She could have a rough day and sleep with somebody from work. You know, she’s just I didn’t have to do much to be with her. And here I am with her. That means that. And no guy wants to marry a woman who he feels that he can’t trust, that she is his and only his. And this may sound like caveman stuff. I’m just telling you how men how men think. And so they go all in to not sure because there is there is no challenge there and there is no ascension of your of your value from the inside. So if your hopes and dreams are not important to you, they’re not going to be important to him. If your desires, interest and what lights you up are not important to you, they’re not going to be important to him. And when you when that happens, he’s going to lose interest because basically he’s just hanging out with somebody just to sleep with and that’s fine. But that’s a diamond does. And he can find somebody to sleep with everywhere. And insofar far as the second part about yet he still wants to be friends.

Speaker2: [00:13:54] Yeah, of course he still wants to be friends because he wants to sleep with you some more. We are not big advocates of what we call leaky energy, where you’re basically friends with a whole bunch of guys. That’s a whole other topic, but because it’s not helpful, it’s just not helpful. The reality is that if a guy is single and not gay, he wants to be friends with you most of the time because he wants to sleep with you. And if he’s even if he’s married, but he’s not happily married and you know that he’s happily married. He probably wants to sleep with you, too. Don’t worry about the age or any of that stuff. He wants to sleep with you. And what that means is that you’ve got to manage that energy. And most women have no idea how to manage their energy and no idea how to manage their feminine energy. And so you can’t really draw in someone who’s a high quality man if you’re not even aware of how to do that. So they go all in just to kind of like recap. Guys go all in. Hey, if you can hear me, put a comment below, because last thing I see is I can’t hear you now, so I’m going to try the volume button and then it’s I’m not seeing any more comments after that.

Speaker2: [00:15:05] So I want to make sure that that you can still hear me. So they go all in because and then they they kind of fade into not sure because they’re losing interest because you’re not that interested in you. And I mentioned this on another episode, this I think this week or last week, if you had a guy. I can hear you. I can hear you. Okay. Awesome. Thank you. So if you had a guy who you wanted to go on a date with and, you know, he said, yeah, I’d like to go on a days long, it’s not going to take too long. You know, I got stuff to do and stuff, but if we can make it a short date, I’ll definitely want to do that. You recognize that? Look, if he’s not willing to invest time in you, he’s probably not that into you. Right. And if he says, yeah, I definitely want to go on a date, maybe he doesn’t bring up the time thing, maybe he brings up the he just would want to put forth that much energy. You know, I don’t I don’t want to have to drive that far. Can you just go to the the Domino’s down the street for me? I can kind of just go there in my pajamas and be our we can just have a date there. He’s not willing to put forth a lot of energy into you or if he’s like, Yeah, let’s definitely do a date and let’s go to the sports bar because there’s a game, you know, obviously another time than now.

Speaker2: [00:16:31] But let’s go to Sports Bar. There’s a game on. I want to be able to watch the game and date with you. It’s like he’s not willing to devote attention to you or if you go on a date and the guy’s like, Yeah, let’s just go to McDonald’s, you know, or, or Carls Junior, let’s do that. We’ll go to calls June or Taco Bell or something like, you know, I don’t want to put out that much money, you know, you know that if he’s not willing to invest either time or energy or attention or money in you, then he’s not that into you. But if you are doing that for yourself or you’re not interested in voting time or energy or attention or money in you, not just the outer you and not just the things that you’re obligated to do, but the real what’s inside of you. Then there’s just no way. There’s nothing to hold his interest. It can’t be that you want to do the things that he wants to do. That can’t be what’s going to hold his interest because he has buddies that do the things that he wants to do. So he doesn’t need to be with you. Right? And it can’t be that you do stuff for him because he can hire somebody to do stuff for him or he just doesn’t really care.

Speaker2: [00:17:38] The things that you ladies want to do for the guy, most of the time he doesn’t really care that much about the things that are more transactional. He doesn’t care. Yes, I know he cares about sex, but you know what? It doesn’t. If he’s just talking about sex, he doesn’t really care if it’s sex with you or sex with somebody else. And so many times a lot of times women say, well, I want to I’m going to sleep with him. So then it’ll take the relationship to the next level. And that’s not how it how it does, how it works. It just doesn’t work like that. I know that’s how it works in in your mind because in your mind, having sex, sleeping with someone mean something really, really special. And the thing is, if you do it way too soon without these other structures in place and you’re not walking in where you know that you’re the prize, this is something we teach our advanced program clients and how to know that you’re the prize and not just because you talk. Most of the time most women are just talk, talk, talk, and they say, Oh, I’m the prize and I do mani pedis and stuff like that. But the guy can see right through it that what’s inside of you isn’t a high value woman, what’s inside of you.

Speaker2: [00:18:47] Not that you’re a bad person, but what’s inside of you is is a woman who isn’t confident of herself, doesn’t feel like she is worthy of having true love. He can feel all that. He can see all that. And your actions are emanating that. Like you have no idea what your the messages that you’re sending out and we’ll. Schmuck, guys, knucklehead guys not catch that. Yeah, absolutely. But these are not the guys who you want to be with. If you want to be with a man who wants to build a life, you want to build a life with him, and you want a man who’s looking for a woman to build a life with. You can’t be sending out those signals of I’m not that confident with a guy that I really like. You can be confident with a guy you’re not you’re not that interested in. But if you’re not confident with a guy that you really like, that’s an indication that you don’t feel worthy of being with the the dream man, the dream life, the dream relationship that you desire. And that’s that’s that’s the work. That’s the inner work. That’s what we do in our programs. But I mean, you can DIY yourself and try to do that, but I’m just. Telling you that is the work right there. We help people get there faster, of course, and a lot easier because we’ve got a step by step plan.

Speaker2: [00:19:57] But either way, you have to walk in feeling like you are the prize and you have to walk in feeling confident that of course you can have a conversation with a man who you really, really, really like. Because in that place and when you are navigating that relationship exploration dance, otherwise known as dating, when you’re navigating that from a place of a high value woman, what we call a love warrior, then he’s going to stay interested, he’s going to get interested. And more importantly, he’s going to stay interested because you’re going to know how to ascend that relationship up. And what most times people do is they just kind of float. And women, you’re waiting for the guy to you’re waiting for the guy to kind of, like, give you the seal of approval. And that has to come from within. You have to become your own soulmate first. That has to happen. And so yeah. So, so that’s why he would go all in and then fade out because he’s not feeling enough that you’re committed to your goals and dreams, that you’re committed to what’s going on inside. By the way, if you have a question, ask me a question because there’s a little delay and we’re we’ll wrap up if there’s no other questions. But that’s why he would start start in.

Speaker2: [00:21:14] And you have to if you want a guy who wants to build a life with you, you have to have a life that you’re excited about and you’re building. And it can’t just be your career. This is I think that’s a whole other topic, but it can’t just be your career. Most women nowadays, you’ve been told and Laura talks about this a lot, Laura says, Ladies, we’ve been sold a bill of goods. Look, you can’t snuggle up with your career at night. You just can’t do it. Your career is not going to keep you company when you grow old. It’s just not. But if you pick wrong, then all you have is your career and the money you’ve made. But if you pick right, that stuff won’t matter. We had a love warrior client who with this environment, she lost her job and she was like freaking out. And she just remembered like, Oh, wait a minute. You know, I’m in a partnership now. I have a husband now. And her husband was like, Yeah, babe, don’t worry about it. We, you know, figure out something else. And she got another job and stuff like that. But it just was like she had a moment of freak out and she remembered that she worked with us to attract the right guy. They got married there. They’re in a healthy, masculine, feminine, dynamic relationship. And she doesn’t have to worry that of course, it’s a team and so there’s a team of them together.

Speaker2: [00:22:36] So of course he’s going to help her out when this is. And it’s not really helping her out. It’s just helping the team out, you know, and but that’s a whole different way of thinking. And most women are preparing for the worst and hoping for the best, but they’re preparing for the worst. That’s not how it’s going to going to happen if you’re holding on to your job or career, as if that is the central organizing feature of your life and that’s the most important part of your life. It’s just very difficult to attract a relationship because it’s harder than ever these days to attract a high quality relationship and make it thrive and find the, you know, separate the wheat from the chaff. You know, the men from the boys, the knuckleheads from the from the dream boats. It’s harder than ever these days. And so if you don’t know how to do that, you’re going to be stuck with one of the knuckleheads. And then, yeah, you know, looking out for yourself is going to be necessary because you’re not going to attract anybody who’s going to be looking out for you. So some some questions. I always like to do things for guys. Like I used to bring my boyfriend coffee to work and stuff. He didn’t reciprocate as much as I wanted.

Speaker2: [00:23:44] Can you not do those things at all, Suzanne? I’m going to give you a short answer. And then because you’re in our program, your advanced program, let’s talk in the other group where we’re going to give you so much more in depth. And then we can talk on the Q&A coaching call this week or you can email us and we can give you a much more in-depth answer and refer you back to the modules that will address that. All right. But the short answer is no, you don’t want to do that stuff at all. That’s a servant’s job. And if you put yourself in the servant role, no man wants to feel like his queen is also his servant. No, no man wants to do that. That’s just there’s a lot more to say about that. But you got to understand that that is really great for a girlfriend. She’s going to be like, Oh, how sweet. You’re so thoughtful. A guy is going to be like, Wow, this is a low value woman. She doesn’t have stuff going on. She doesn’t have like a life and stuff happening and things. I know how to get my own fucking coffee, you know? Now if somebody’s sick and you bring them soup, that’s a whole other story. But I’m talking about just on a regular basis, it’s not going to work. It flips his masculine switch off. It makes him not want to be masculine.

Speaker2: [00:24:59] It makes him want to be mothered and babied. And then you end up with a guy that you’re like, feel like you’re frickin tugging him along and having to drag him along and coach him and coax him and all that stuff and mommy him. And it’s exhausting and it’s always going to be exhausting. So how you show up is so critical and then how you spiral up is important. And we’ve got stuff for you. Love Warrior Suzanne, to help you with that melody. What about when you have dreams of your own and he wants you to do something with him, not your own career? So in a healthy, masculine, feminine dynamic, he wants to support you in your career, but he also doesn’t want you to have your basically for you to be married to your career or job or business and not married to him. If your job or business is the number one thing in your life, you’re not going to be able to have a relationship now. Most women a healthy relationship. Most women, when you hear that, I’m saying quit your job, you think I’m saying don’t have a career because the way your mind works is you interpret things as binary. Either I have a career and it’s a center of my life, or I have nothing and I’m totally dependent on him. And what that reflects is and I’m not saying that to you, Melody.

Speaker2: [00:26:18] I’m just saying what most women may be you is that means that you are completely off base about your understanding of what it means to be feminine. And so this is why understanding and really recognizing what it means to be feminine and how to turn up your feminine radiance and magnetism is part of our advanced program because it’s so critical and it’s so misunderstood, and it takes time to really, like, spin that around because you’re in an ocean of a society that’s telling you basically how to be a better version of a man. Right? You’re going to go to work and kick ass. You’re going to take names, right? All of that type of stuff. And again, it’s not saying don’t have a career. It’s just the idea that that is the central organizing feature of your life that’s not going to work for a relationship. Now, remember, I’m married to a professional, smart, badass woman. And so it’s not about that. You can’t be smart, bad ass, professional kick ass and stuff like that. It’s do you understand the difference between when you’re in your masculine versus when you’re in your feminine, and can you shift easily between them? And if you can’t, you’re toast. You just you’re toast. You’re going to bring that masculine energy into the relationship and the guy is going to be like, Yeah, this is not working for me, you know? So and in terms of doing something with him and not your own career really depends on the quality of that relationship and whether you’re listening to each other and your decision making framework about how you even got into the relationship with that person.

Speaker2: [00:27:55] Because again, going back to what I said in the beginning, if you’re standing in the middle of a of a of a dark alley at 3 a.m. with a gun looking at this bad guy to shoot or that bad guy to shoot. And that’s what you’re thinking that your choices are. I beg to differ. The question is, how did you get into that? So your decision making framework about choosing a guy, your picker is critical because you may find yourself in a position where the guy wants you to do something with him but not do your own career. And the question isn’t which which bad thing to do. The question is, how did you end up in a relationship with someone who’s going to tell you that you have to dim yourself down, not be yourself, and not pursue your dreams. And you go back and back and you find out that you use second. You put your own dreams and desires as second, and you didn’t recognize how a relationship fits into that. He’s not an ornament to your life and you’re not an ornament to his life. And most women get that completely wrong because society is telling you it’s one or the other.

Speaker2: [00:29:02] Either you’re an ornament in his life or he’s an ornament in your life. And and go get it. Girl, girl power. You’ve got to be making him an ornament in your life. And that’s not going to work. That’s just not going to work. So if you’re if you’re working 12 to 15 hour days, for example, it really doesn’t matter what you say and do is going to be very difficult to maintain a relationship because everybody wants some time. Don’t you want time? Everybody wants some energy. Don’t you want some energy? Everybody wants attention. Don’t you want some attention? And everybody wants to see that their partner is willing to invest or spend their own money on the other person. It doesn’t mean the person has to be rich, it’s just that they’re willing to do those things. And if you’re working ten, 12, 15 hour days, it’s very hard to build a life. And usually that’s a pattern that you’ve been in where you’re basically squeezing your personal life on the side of your important things in life, and you’re wondering why you have no real personal life. That’s why, because nobody wants to feel like they’re being squeezed in on the margins. And guys especially, they can feel that. They can see that. They can hear that. And this is why when women come to work with us, we do a whole structural life assessment of what’s going on in their life.

Speaker2: [00:30:25] Um, and then how you start to make adjustments to that so that you have set the stage for the recipe to actually work. It’s like going into a kitchen and you’re like, okay, I got this recipe and I’m like, You got pots? Oh, no, I don’t have any pots. Do you have a mixing bowl? No, I don’t have a mixing bowl, but I have the recipe and I have these ingredients. No, you’ve got to have all of it in order to make the recipe work. Hope. That makes sense. Hey, Jackie. All right, Melody. You’re welcome. Britney, I’m curious about navigating dating in the current climate. I’m speaking to someone right now is making it clear that he’s serious, seriously interested. But it may be months till we even meet. How do we manage our attachment to a person when we’re only able to communicate, communicate by text, phone, stuff like that, and never understood getting attached to someone we haven’t met until now. So Britney is a great question. So I’m going to do the best we can in this short time. Are our clients get prepared to do that? And I mentioned earlier, if you heard it like just one client, I’m it’s stood out to me just because a lot of women were talking about how they’re having actually much more emails, more conversations with higher quality men.

Speaker2: [00:31:40] But this one woman knew the number. And so she had eight high quality men who were awesome and caring. And they’re having conversations in the way that we we lay it out, the kind of like blueprint that we offer. But the the. Navigating it in this in this current environment isn’t much different because it’s really about how are you showing up? It’s really about, are you in your masculine or are you in your feminine? Now, now is actually a fantastic time to be working on yourself because that comes across in online dating. But a lot of women thought, Oh no, I’m one way in real life, but I’m a different way in online dating. And that’s not true. But now you have no choice but to see that. Now you have no choice because this environment is is what it is. This is actually a better time when you’re really well prepared. This is actually a better time to be doing online dating because there isn’t your own internal. Like one of the things you say is how do you manage your attachment to a person? And that’s really the inner work. That’s the inner work that we work with in terms of like becoming your own soulmate first, knowing that you’re the prize, managing that attachment is flipping the idea that the that the guy is scarce and you are trying to like energetically try to go get one versus I’m valuable I am am setting a stage for the right man to come and earn my love, win me over and stuff like that.

Speaker2: [00:33:24] And that’s a mental shift, but it’s also a consciousness shift and there are certain strategies and skills and tools to use that help you with that so you don’t fall back into that. But this is a great time to actually you use the word attach twice. But this is a great time, Britney, to get to know someone, what we call the relationship exploration, dance, use, whatever. If you’re doing it on your own, you have to have a clear decision making framework. We give our clients a clear decision making framework. So, you know, and we had one client, I think two weeks ago, she picked up on a clue that we give we give a whole structure. She picked up on something and realized this guy is. More like guys that I would have spent months or years with. And I realize just in talking with him after one date, this guy is no good. So when you have a clear decision making framework and you know what it is to, to, to look for, then it’s going to save you time. Most women have like they know about red flags and stuff like that. But what you don’t know is what we call yellow alerts. And those come before the red flags and every narcissist or bad guy or something like that that you end up with.

Speaker2: [00:34:45] They gave out lots of yellow alerts early on and sometimes red flags. And a lot of times because women don’t understand how men operate, you miss them. So I would say that don’t worry, Brittany, about the idea of of getting into that relationship exploration dance with someone. Now, don’t worry about that, that the climate is different. It’s still always a focus of healthy, masculine, feminine dynamics. And you using your your clear decision making framework about whether this guy is right for you or not and whether to pursue it. But in terms of the idea that you’re not going to meet each other for months, it’s like whatever, because when you’re with the right person. Laura made me wait almost two months before we met because I went out of town. She went out. We met on Match.com. I went out of town. She went out of town and she was just busy. And so she gave me like seven weeks out on Monday night. That was the date opportunity I had and I said, I’ll take it. And so she positioned herself just in real life, not game playing as a woman who is busy, he’s got stuff going on and she her dreams, her desires. She was a chiropractor. She was running a a non-profit like a clinic. Clinica, a clinic in her office used to do volunteering and doing leadership stuff.

Speaker2: [00:36:12] So she had a lot going on. So she made it clear that that her life and her dreams are important. But at the same time, she was working on herself, doing the stuff that we now teach our clients. And so she was making space for me. And but anyway, the bottom line is I had to wait seven weeks before I ended up going on a date with her, and then her schedule magically opened up quite nicely after that, because we can she could tell because she’s made love and priority and having a family important. And she knew the steps to take in terms of accelerating our our dating process. She knew what to do and she did it very consciously so that she would remain, as she is now, a very high value woman who I my masculine switch is turned on and always is turned on and and it doesn’t get switched off by her doing things where she’s lost sight of masculine feminine dynamics. So kind of a long answer, I hope that’s helpful, Britney. Let’s see. Yikes. I was mom doing too much. Yeah, it’s very, very common. My last boyfriend pushed me away often when I went to Europe. He said, if I meet someone, I should go for it. I did. Then he said I failed, called it infidelity. This is super simplified, but my question is, does he now not trust me and he isn’t? And isn’t he not taking responsibility for his role and projecting the problem on me? I mean, he said it was a test.

Speaker2: [00:37:45] So this is this is not good to be in a relationship where he’s basically testing you. And if you’re in a relationship with someone, you’re actually in a committed, monogamous, exclusive relationship with someone. And you. Have a desire to sleep with someone else. That tells you a lot. That tells you a lot about how into him you are. Right. And so I would really look at that, not what he said, what you did, stuff like that. But if you’re with someone that you’re like, but I’d be okay with sleeping with somebody else. That’s not what we consider a committed, monogamous, exclusive relationship. That’s something else that’s like a relationship of convenience, you know? So I hope that’s helpful after all. Right, guys, if you have any other questions, you can definitely put them in there. And hey, if you want to accelerate this process, you want to find out what’s going on, what’s the status of your love life, where maybe you’re blocking yourself without even realizing it, where you want to go and how you can get there faster than ever. Get on the phone with Laura or one of our love breakthrough coaches, who, by the way, are clients, former clients of ours who graduated from our programs, attracted their soulmate and now are wanting to get on the phone to help you live the life that they have right now.

Speaker2: [00:39:11] Nobody’s saying that life is perfect for anybody. But you know what? Especially right now, they’re extremely happy that they did invest in themselves, change the direction of their lives, work with us, and attract their soulmates, because now they’re happily married women who are quarantined with their sweetheart, with their best friends, you know, that kind of thing. So go to Johnny Larcom Forward Slash, apply to apply for free love breakthrough assessment. But here’s the thing I want to say about that. Don’t do that if you’re just trying to. Yeah, let’s just hear what you have to say. Only do that if you’re serious about accelerating your life forward. Only get on the phone for love. Breakthrough assessment because Laura, Belinda, Leslie, they like coach Leslie she’s got a what’s her daughter she eight I think she’s eight years old now so she’s got eight year old coach Belinda. She’s got two tween teen girls and a and both of them have husbands. They’ve got full lives. And so they’re going to set aside an hour, about an hour and a half for you. And they they want to do that. If you’re ready to really look at your life and then say, you know what, I want a game plan for going forward and maybe that’s us helping you, maybe it’s not.

Speaker2: [00:40:27] But if you want to go forward in your life and you want to do it, not right now, not next week, next month, not when COVID 19 passes. But you actually want to accelerate your life from where you are now to where you want to be. Go to Johnny Larcom for reply. Let’s see if we can help you. All right, let’s see. Yeah, okay. Esther said not with him anymore. Had to walk away. Not. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Very good. All right. So, hey, glad you joined us. If you have a request for a topic that you’d like me to cover this week, I’m doing a Facebook Live every day at 1:30 p.m. Pacific Time. There’s a comment in the group somewhere where I ask for, Hey, what do you want me to talk about? Go ahead and do that. And if you’re on this video and you like this video comment below, because we’re doing a cleansing out. We’ve been cleansing out people that are not commenting, not interacting and stuff like that. So if you want to stay in this group, go ahead and not comment below about something and tell me what’s the most helpful thing that you got from this talk today? Just one nugget, one insight that you got. Something like that. All right. One distinction that you got. Put that below the the video, too. All right. I hope you guys have a great day or night whenever you’re watching this and I’ll talk to you soon. Bye for now.

Speaker1: [00:41:54] Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode. If you’re a single professional woman who wants your success in your love life to match your success in your career or business, and you’re looking to get crystal clear right now about why Truelove just hasn’t been knocking on your door and and what you can do about it. You’re going to want a book, a love breakthrough clarity call right now with one of our love breakthrough specialists. She’ll get on the phone or zoom call with you one on one to assess exactly what’s been holding you back and love what it is you really want and how to get there as quickly as possible. By the end of this compassionate and professional assessment, you’ll finally have clarity plus an immediately actionable path forward. So just go to single to soulmate dot com forward slash call to book a call that’s single to soulmate dot com forward slash call for a free love breakthrough call. That’s for you. If you’re a single professional woman who is as serious about your love life right now as you’ve been about getting your degree or your career or business success. And if you’re ready to finally have some clarity and have a breakthrough in your love life right now, this. Perfect for you again that single soulmate dot com forget call to book your life changing one on one assessment call right away.

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Hope you enjoyed this episode of Single to Soulmate! If you want to learn more about Johnny and Lara or want to start your own soulmate journey, go to johnnyandlara.com.