Have you ever found yourself going on a first date, thinking it went well, until you realize the man seemed to have no desire for a 2nd date? You might find yourself wondering: “What could have happened? What did I do?”

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
– The reasons why you might get those 2nd dates
– What the quality of men you date has to do with this
– How you can finally stop feeling left in the dust by every man you date

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
– Why you should take ownership of your love life
– What can happen when you do
– What to do to take matters into your own hands, once and for all

READY TO CHANGE YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR THE BETTER, FOREVER?

Want to know your Love Pattern? After over 16 years of helping women find the men of their dreams, we’ve identified 5 different Love Patterns, each with different characteristics that can keep you from finding true love. Find what your Love Pattern is and what to do about it by taking our free, 2 minute quiz. Just go to https://bit.ly/lovepatternquiz, discover your Love Pattern, and we’ll tell you what changes you can make starting TODAY.

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Episode Transcription Start —>
S5EP11

Speaker1: [00:00:03] Hello and welcome to single The Soulmate Podcast where we help you, the love warrior or love word to be to go from single to with your soulmate. Living the life of your dreams. Well, hello there and welcome to another episode of Inside the Male Mind. So we’re going to be talking today about why no second date. Well, it could be this. Now, let’s talk about so many times we find that women who are single out there in the dating world, whether it be online or meeting someone in real life, in person or anywhere, really what you’re looking for is that feeling of of progress. Right. And too many times women find that they’re coming up with the same kind of cycles where either they meet a guy who starts out good and then he fades quickly or starts out good, and then he ghosts or starts out good. Then things seem to be moving along and and then he all of a sudden, he doesn’t have time for you. All right. So there’s a lot of different reasons why that could be. One could be he’s an idiot, right? So totally. It could be he’s an idiot. Could be that he’s a scammer or a slick suitor or a player or something like that. And it could be that you have chosen the wrong guy to be getting into a dating scenario with. So if he’s a Sixer or a player or something like that, or if he’s just a straight up idiot. These are not things you can do something about.

Speaker1: [00:01:46] We have a saying in our community which is love warriors don’t do fixer uppers. So we don’t look at it. We don’t teach our clients to look at a guy who’s a fixer upper or a knucklehead in one way or another and figure out how to be more appealing to him or how to get him to do this, that or the other. That’s not the way we look at it. We do move in. Ready? Right. It’s going with that analogy of fixer upper as we do move in ready relationships because our clients are not 20 years old looking to try out what is it like to have a relationship? They are ready for marriage. Our clients are ready for true love. Our clients are ready to have a family or to have a father for their child or children because they have gone so long without that. Right. And so, in other words, the women that work with us, they take their dreams seriously because they’ve been to the magic show. They’ve been in other experiences. They’ve done playing house and all that. They’re ready for true love. Actual marriage ring on the finger and family either blending the family that you have or starting a family of your own. So move in ready know fixer uppers means that out of those three options of why the guy ghosted, why the guy did it, it really comes down to have you chosen the wrong guy? Right.

Speaker1: [00:03:18] And some women will say, well, how do you know they you know, they present this way at first or they say that way. And all of those things end up showing that you don’t have a clear decision making framework around how to choose guys. And you’re broadcasting literally like a beacon call. You’re broadcasting to the the wrong guys to come on in. We see it all the time in our programs. We do what’s called an online profile makeover for women that are going to be opening up all the channels and actually exploring online dating. What we see is that well over 90% of the online dating profiles that we see, it’s closer to 95% of the online dating profiles that we see are a beacon call to knuckleheads. They actually have words in there that telegraph good guys go away. Scammers come in. Now I know you think well, 90, 95%, but not mine. Everybody thinks it’s not theirs. Say, well, what do you mean? I showed it to my girlfriend. She said, It’s good. I read this article and they said to do this and say that there are so many subtle things in there that can broadcast insecurities, can broadcast your lack of understanding of how men really think, can broadcast fears that you have, can broadcast past hurts, and the fact that you haven’t healed from him, from them, and more and more and more that stuff gets broadcasted. You know what else gets broadcasted? That you’re not really ready for a true relationship now you think, Well, that’s why I avoid online dating.

Speaker1: [00:05:14] Here’s the thing. Online dating is just a faster way to get feedback. So the exact same thing is happening in real life. So when we look at why these guys are ghosting, not giving you second dates and stuff like that, like I said, it’s one of those three, but the only one that you have any control over is that third one. Who are you choosing? That’s why it’s so important to have a clear decision making framework and not using what you used when you were in your twenties. Because when you’re in your twenties, who knows? Who knows what they’re doing? Right. Because here’s the thing. Most of us had really bad role models for love and relationships. Most of us looked at our parents and said, I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to have that relationship. Most of us, a lot of us, our parents didn’t have a relationship. So you’re raised by a single mom, maybe as a single dad, but mostly it’s a single mom. You’re raised by a single mom. So you didn’t get to see the interaction of men and women. You had your mom trying to be a mother and a father. But the reality is mothers can’t father and fathers can’t mother. So I’m sure your mom did the best she could, but she wasn’t able to model for you. Healthy, masculine behavior and healthy masculine and feminine interplay.

Speaker1: [00:06:38] And so what does that mean? That means when you go out into the world, you have certain concepts in your mind about how relationships work that are just concepts you don’t really know because you didn’t have it modeled for you. Now. With that. You go out and you start dating and you choose the wrong guy, and then it becomes a pattern of choosing the wrong guy. So it’s a different version of the guy. This one’s blonde, this one’s brunette. This one is, I don’t know, Asian, this one’s white, this one’s Latino. But it’s basically the same guy in a different body. Because without understanding first yourself, because we go into like really upping your courage and your confidence to go for your dreams, to speak up for what you want, to actually get real with yourself about what it is that you truly want. And then really getting in touch with the masculine and feminine dynamics and starting with your feminine radiance. A lot of women, when they hear, Oh, be more feminine, they think, Oh, if I do a manly, petty and wear frilly dress, I’m feminine. But there’s so much more than that. And the thing you’ve got to understand is that whether it be online or in person, men can tell when that you’re more feeling ragged than than radiant. They can tell that energetically. They may not be able to put words to it, but they can definitely tell. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It just means you’ve never been taught and never had it modeled for you how to be in a healthy relationship and how to recognize a man who’s ready to be in a healthy relationship.

Speaker1: [00:08:20] Because the guy who ghosted you, the guy who, you know, went on a date, maybe, you know, you got into it. And then he dashed after that, those guys saw something in you that made them say, this would be a good fit for me. This will really work for me. And you don’t know what that is because. Well, to at the risk of oversimplifying, you don’t know what you don’t know. And if you didn’t have it modeled, you never had it taught. And if you if you read about it but it’s just an intellectual concept, but you never experienced it. It’s not going to really sink in. It’s just not. We did an event not long ago for some of our upper level programs. We do one in America, one internationally, so we did one in Copenhagen, and there were experiential processes that we did there and exercises that the women said they were absolutely blown away because they thought they knew the stuff that we were teaching, but it was just in their head. And because we do things that are experiential, live and in person, it got to another level. Now don’t get me wrong, we have amazing online programs where we can actually connect with people and give them visceral experiences. Start changing brain chemistry, start changing hormonal balances based on the particular tools that we give and processes.

Speaker1: [00:09:55] And so there are things that you can do, but most people where they’re doing is they’re reading things and they’re intellectualizing things so they can talk and they’ll say, But I talked to the guy in this, that and the other. And what you don’t get is that it’s not what you say, it’s the vibration that you’re carrying. It’s the beacon call that you’re sending out. So you want to look at what Beacon call you’re sending out. Look at the guys who you’re dating. That’s the beacon call that you’re sending out. If you’re like, Oh, all the guys just want sex. That’s the beacon call that you’re sending out. Come in. I’ll be okay with you treating me on a surface level. That’s the beacon call that you’re sending out. Otherwise, that guy wouldn’t have been attractive to you and he wouldn’t have been attracted to you. Now. Again, that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. That doesn’t even mean that that’s what you wanted. And it certainly doesn’t mean that that’s what you deserve. But it means that that is the beacon call that you’re sending out. So. The first thing is to recognize that the fact that he’s an idiot, the fact that he’s a player may be true. But that’s not a that doesn’t give you your power back. That just gives you something to complain about. But once you recognize that you actually chose him, that you were attractive to him and you were attracted to him then and only then you can start to ask a question.

Speaker1: [00:11:31] Why? I’m curious and if your answer. Has anything to do with or has everything to do with what other people have done wrong. Then it’s time for you to take more ownership and take more power back. Because what we see is that the women that are willing to take ownership over their love life, the women that are willing to actually put their hands back on the steering wheel of their love life and actually start to steer it in a different direction. And the way it’s been going, they have the beginnings of the critical qualities that are necessary to turn this around. And that’s really what you want, right? You’re looking at the direction of things. Let me see if you’re looking at the direction of things. And it’s going like this. And you want to turn that around. You want if it’s going like this, you want to have it go like that. That’s a turnaround. Well, the moment the turnaround begins is the moment that you say, I am always at the scene of the crime. I am the one choosing these guys. I am the one who is sending out a beacon call to these guys. And it’s time for me to what we call become my own soul. My first work on myself, not by myself, but work on myself with some guidance, with some mentoring, with some modeling, with some lessons that I should have been taught in school but never got.

Speaker1: [00:13:06] Now some women are saying, well, I’m not I’m not picking duds. I’m just not seeing anybody. That’s the beacon call you’re sending out. Go away. That’s the Beacon call. And it’s going to be very hard to attract a man when you’re sending out a beacon call to men that is go away. Because the only guys who are willing to push past that to climb over those walls that you have. Are the knuckleheads? Are they damaged guys? Are the weirdoes? Are the slick setters? Those are the guys that are willing to climb over that because they can tell that you’re not valuing yourself enough to take ownership over your heart and decide that you are important enough, that your dreams are important enough, that your desires are important enough, that your future self and your future life are important enough to do something in this now moment so that tomorrow, next month, next year, two years, ten years is not the same as last week. Last month. Last year. Last ten years. They can tell. So they’re willing to climb out all over that. But the good guys, when they see you sending out that beacon call, go away. They do. And then you find yourself lonely. Week after week, month after month, year after year. It’s not that you can’t get along by yourself. It’s not that you can’t make it work. I said, Do you really want to? For so much longer.

Speaker1: [00:14:49] Do you really want to show up at New Year’s Eve party? Again alone. Do you really want to celebrate another birthday? With your aunts, uncles, your girlfriends. I’m sure that’s nice. But wouldn’t you rather be with your sweetheart? A couple of years ago, Lara had the idea that she’d like to have her 50th birthday celebrated in Paris, and her husband, that would be me said, okay, I’ll make that happen. So she had her birthday in Paris. And then we went to the south of France. And. That’s because she prioritized her dreams, her desires. Long time ago. Over 20 years ago. So the time to have that dream come true in ten years and 20 years is right now. There’s a saying, a Chinese saying that I heard, which is the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now. If you’re ready to plant a tree for a whole new life, comment below. Let’s get into a conversation. All right. So remember, you’re sending out a beacon call one way or the other. The real question is, what’s the beacon call? How do you know? Look at the the resume of dudes that you’ve been dating or going on one date or getting into a relationship with. And you want to turn that around fast. It’s time for a new beacon call. Time for planning a new tree. Hope. That’s helpful. Enjoy your day or night whenever you’re watching this. Bye for now. Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode.

Speaker2: [00:16:30] Hey, if you’re looking to make a major leap forward in going from single to soulmate, be sure to check out our free masterclass to learn the five step strategy our clients use to meet and marry the man of their dreams without dumbing themselves down or using manipulative lines. Just go to single soulmate dot com forward slash learn that single to soulmate dot com forward slash learn for free Masterclass on how to unlock the love you deserve.

Speaker1: [00:16:55] And a life of your dreams.

Speaker2: [00:16:57] Also, if you like this podcast, be sure to hit the subscribe button and maybe even leave us a review. Let us know what you love or just even like about the podcast. Because hey, when you leave us a quick and honest review that helps other awesome women, just like you discover this podcast and helps them learn, live and love better, just like you’re learning right now. So it’s a little.

Speaker1: [00:17:20] Bit of pay it forward, subscribe and leave us a review. Thanks so much.

Episode Transcription End —>

Hope you enjoyed this episode of Single to Soulmate! If you want to learn more about Johnny and Lara or want to start your own soulmate journey, go to johnnyandlara.com.