Men and women think and are very different.
If you’ve EVER been confused about why a man is thinking or acting a certain way, or thinking “what does he want?!”, this episode is a must-listen for you. Ready to unravel the mysteries of men?

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
– The signals you can pick up on from men
– How to avoid men who are just looking for sex or “friends with benefits”
– How to improve your communication with men

READY TO CHANGE YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR THE BETTER, FOREVER?

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Episode Transcription Start —>
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Speaker1: [00:00:03] Hello and welcome to single The Soulmate.

Speaker2: [00:00:06] Podcast where we help you, the love warrior or love word to be to go from single to with your soulmate. Living the life of your dreams. Welcome to this episode of Inside the Male Mind. So today I’m going to be sharing with you what that man really wants from you. What that man really wants from you and why you aren’t giving it to him. So what we like to discuss here, what I like to discuss here is the things that so many clients tell us is like, wait, really? He’s thinking this or whatever it is. So inside the male mind is the opportunity to kind of like get get into a conversation with you about it and and let you know how men think, especially the kind of man that you’re looking for, a commitment minded, emotionally mature man who’s, you know, got some stuff together and really is looking for his wife. He’s looking for the woman he can build a life with. He’s looking for a woman he can build a family with. So many women come to us and they say that, you know, I just keep keep finding these guys that all they want is sex or all they want is friends with benefits, you know, or they want a situation ship or they want to be with me for a while. But then it turns out that then it turns out that. You know that he’s not really serious about commitment.

Speaker2: [00:01:43] You know, he says he is. I asked him. We talked about it. He said he was, but he wasn’t really because he broke up with me and said, it’s not me, it’s not you, it’s me, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m just not ready for a commitment. And then six months later, he’s, you know, getting engaged to somebody else. So you realize actually it was you, right? So you think there’s something wrong with him and stuff like that. And or a lot of women say they just can’t find a man that’s kind of like up to par, up to their level, meaning that they are serious, they want to do things in their life. And and this guy is just like doing the same old, same old every day. And so let’s talk about what he really wants. Now, the he that I’m talking about is not just any man. I’m talking about the kind of man that you want to be with. As I said, emotionally mature. He’s solid. He’s going someplace, right. You want to, man? I believe this is what we hear from a lot of women. You want a man who’s going someplace, who has his shit together, not perfect or anything like that, but he knows who he is and he knows where he wants to go. Right? And he’s not just talking about it, but he’s doing something about it. He’s actively in pursuit of career goals or personal development goals, whatever.

Speaker2: [00:03:09] Things like this, right? Maybe he has a business, something like that, and he’s actively looking to grow it and and be more successful in every area of his life. And that type of man who is looking for the woman that he can build a life with, who’s looking for the woman who he can build a family with, that type of man is looking for a certain type of woman. And the the misunderstanding is that this guy who’s just looking for sex is the only guy that’s out there. Now, here’s the thing you’ve got to understand about men. And I talked about this in another video. He’s going to be putting you into one of two categories pretty quickly. And that’s possibly a real thing or a play thing. In other words, someone to have a little fun with for a little while or someone who may be building a life with. And so if you want to be, you can watch my other video here about that where I talk about about that in detail. So I’m not going to go into that here. But let’s say you you see yourself as the type of woman that a good man would want to build a life with. Right. And yet you’re only attracting men who are looking at you on the surface, right? They only want you for sex. They only want you for situation chips. They don’t want to invest in you.

Speaker2: [00:04:38] They don’t want to put a lot of time in you. They’re not planning dates, planning weekend getaways. They’re not inviting you to their cousin’s wedding when they go, you know, as they’re there, plus one, anything like that, they’re not doing those types of things. And so what what is it that he’s really looking for? If this is a man who’s going someplace, he’s looking for a woman who’s going someplace. But here’s where so many women get it wrong. So many women think that they need to be going someplace in their career just like he is. So then they can match up, right? That’s not what he’s looking for at all. He gets that from his friends. He gets that from his colleagues. He’s not looking for a woman who is going someplace in her career that actually doesn’t matter that much to him. Hardly matters at all. What really matters is he’s looking for a woman who’s going someplace in terms of knowing herself, loving herself, believing that that her dreams and desires matter. And she actually has a greater sense of herself, greater understanding of love and relationships. And he does not in a let me tell you and coach you little boy kind of way, but in a living it kind of way, one of the things that we you hear us talk about, if you listen to our podcast, watch our our YouTube channel, watch me here in this group is that many women don’t understand how powerful they are.

Speaker2: [00:06:14] You are what we call the relationship establishment and navigator. What that means is that where that relationship gets established, how that relationship gets established is actually up to you. It’s not up to the guy, it’s up to you. You need to see yourself as the prize. You need to be the prize, and you need to understand how to wield this power as a relationship. Establish you’re a navigator. And the biggest thing that. Is an indicator that you do not have a firm grasp on that. You do not know how powerful you are is if you are attracting men who only want you for sex, only want you for situation chips, only want you for friends with benefits, or just want to be friends and don’t want to do anything. You just want to hang out with you once in a while. But they want they don’t want to build a relationship with you. The biggest indicator that is that what that what that means. Does it mean that that guy is not some horndog that all he wants is sex? No. But why are you going out with them? Why are you attractive to that type of man? Why are you attracted to that type of man? And the reason is because the going someplace is not you’re not going someplace. As the relationship established, your navigator, you’re not understanding yourself. You’re not allowing yourself to understand yourself, and you don’t fully understand masculine and feminine dynamics.

Speaker2: [00:07:41] Now, that doesn’t mean that you don’t understand some men. That doesn’t mean that you don’t understand some women. But one of the biggest things that that we hear from clients in our program is I really had no idea that. That that men were looking for that from me. I thought they were looking for the things that society tells me. Right. They’re looking for me to, you know, have have a, you know, be debt free, have my good credit report, have a nice house, all of that type of stuff. You know, be a certain weight or things like that, have a good degree or things like that. And the thing is that those things don’t matter. He’s looking for your magic, your heart, your passion, your zest for life. And you don’t get those things by focusing exclusively on external things. There’s there’s a certain type of woman who says, Here’s what I bring to the table. I’m smart. I know these things. I read these books. I’ve got this great career. Maybe I’ve got great body. I don’t know, you know, things like that, that type of woman. She’s not getting a man who is committed to her heart, who’s committed to making her dreams come true. She’s getting a man who wants a plaything. He wants someone to be with until someone who he really wants comes along. What he’s looking for is for you to enhance his life, not by doing shit for him.

Speaker2: [00:09:20] That’s a whole other episode to teach about how so many women over give over help don’t really understand what men really want. But. But by you living as if your dreams matter. You living as if you matter. You living as if you are worth investing in. How do you do that? Not by saying certain words, but by living the experience of going for your dreams. So is your dream to to get married. Have a family. Right. Live happily ever after. What are you doing about that? Are you reading a book? That’s great. That’s awesome. Folks, $20 takes a couple of hours to read. That is minimal investment in your dreams. Do you do some journaling? Watch some free YouTube videos. That’s awesome. Also, minimal investment in your dreams. And let’s let’s correlate this. So you don’t think I’m just talking about about working with us or anything like that? I’m talking about where are you investing your time, your energy, your attention and your money? Let’s say you want to be a doctor. We have a lot of people that that are doctors who work with us and teachers and social workers and lawyers and accountants, nurses. Wow. A lot of nurses. I don’t know why you invest in that career. Like practically blood, sweat and tears. You pay a lot of money to go to school. You go in debt often to do that because you see the return on that.

Speaker2: [00:11:18] You see how important that is. You spend hours and hours and hours studying, right? Over days, weeks, months, years. You put forth energy, you say no to that party in Vegas because you’ve got an exam. You prioritize getting your nursing degree, getting your doctoral degree, getting your your your master’s, your your doctorate, whatever it is. Right. You prioritize that in your life. If your love life, if learning about how you tick, how to wield the power as a relationship, establishing and navigator is not getting that kind of attention. You’re going to attract a man who is giving you what you’re giving to your hopes and dreams. Minimal. Time, minimal energy, minimal attention, and, yes, minimal resources, minimal money. You’re trying to get off cheap and you’re trying to get. High quality. You’re trying to walk in to Wal-Mart and walk out with a Tiffany ring, and it just doesn’t work like that in today’s day and age. 50 years ago. Heck, maybe even 30 years ago, maybe you could get away with that. But now you know how many knuckleheads are out there. You’ve seen it. You’ve been dating. There’s a lot of knuckleheads out there. And you know what? Men will pretty much do what women let them get away with. You say, oh, how can I compete with these women? They’re throwing their body around. I have to try to make it easier for guys.

Speaker2: [00:13:02] No. When you do that. Based on a shell of understanding, a veneer of understanding yourself, a veneer of believing in your hopes and dreams. A believing that you matter. You try to invest as little as possible in this area of your life because society tells you to do that and then you’re trying to get maximum return. You want the man of your dreams. But you’re you’re doing passing understanding of what your dreams are, passing understanding of how to manifest your dreams of of how you really tick and how to wield that power as a relationship established and navigator, we help women in our our our program do the step by step process of stepping into their feminine radiance and their courage. Because here’s the thing with a high quality, commitment minded, emotionally mature man really wants is for you to be in your feminine radiance and yes, put on your masculine get shit done when you go to work, but then take that off and understand how to do that. It’s more than just taking a bubble bath and getting your nails done is so much more than that. And courage. He wants a woman who has courage, not courage to go, I don’t know, be a gladiator in the ring, fight bulls and stuff like that. I mean, that’s fine if that’s your thing, but it’s not that kind of courage. It’s the courage to say, I matter, my dreams matter because the man who wants to build a life with a woman is not just looking for who you are now he’s looking for.

Speaker2: [00:14:45] Can you be the mother of my child or children? Well, you can’t be if you’re just sitting back waiting for me to do everything. You have to be able to have a more than just an opinion, a well reasoned thought process and decision making structure that will allow you to be the co of the family. And these things don’t happen by reading one blog article, griping to your friends, and then saying, What’s wrong with men these days? They just don’t. And here’s the thing. It’s not your fault you didn’t learn this in school. You didn’t learn this in college when you were doing History of the World or Women’s Studies, or you didn’t learn these things. What you probably learned. What most people learn is how to get into dysfunctional, unhealthy relationships. And then they get into a pattern. They get into a cycle where that’s all they know, that’s all they see, that’s all they participate in. And they don’t know that there’s a whole other party going on. Our clients end up getting into relationships with great men of all ages. You know why? Because they understand fully their role as a relationship establishing and navigator. They understand how to live in their feminine radiance and live with courage and confidence. And if you don’t have feminine radiance, courage and confidence, you’re going to attract guys that are not looking to be that masculine balance to your feminine radiance, that masculine, strong leader, protector provider to your feminine radiance, who is an enhancement to his life.

Speaker2: [00:16:35] But if you don’t have the courage in confidence, you’re not going to have that man who’s looking. You’re not going to attract that man who is looking for a woman to build a life with, to be a co-leader of his family, a true partner. You’re going to attract little boys. You’re going to attract guys that won’t step up. You’re going to attract guys that won’t commit because you’re just not that committed to you. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It doesn’t. What it means is you don’t know what you don’t know. What it means is you’re trying to invest as little as possible. And get the maximum return. And that’s fine when we’re really young, don’t really realize how things work. You know, I heard it the other day about a young person. This is in a work context, but you’ll you’ll get it a work context where a worker was in an entry level position and he was asking about, well, how do I get to your position? He was asking a person who was much, much, much more senior than him. And in a half joking, only half joking way. This this senior level supervisor, he was in management, looked and said, let me see you. You look like you still got a little butt there.

Speaker2: [00:17:56] You’ve got to work that off. In other words, you’ve got to work your butt off. And now in a work context, it’s basically you’re putting in all those hours, you’re you’re doing all the little things that nobody wants to do because you’re earning your earning your keep earning your way. Right. Well, in the love arena, you don’t have to do it the way most women think that they need to do that is to, you know, go on a zillion dates. Our clients don’t go on a zillion dates. They need to lower their standards. Our clients, actually, we encourage our clients to raise their standards. You don’t have to do all this stuff for for a man. Our clients learn that when you know how to be a a what we call a love warrior and you’re in your feminine radiance and your courage, you actually do less. You do so much less that you’re like, oh, my God, is my job to just be happy. And that makes him happy. Yes. When you learn how to do that, when you have an understanding of masculine feminine dynamics, your job is to receive all of the goodness that this man has to offer. Because here’s the thing that a high quality, commitment minded, emotionally mature, grown ass man wants. He wants to make his woman happy, and all he wants is to get some credit for that.

Speaker2: [00:19:21] That’s it. He wants to make her happy. He wants to please you. He wants to lift you up. I mean, think about this. We don’t really get into this too much. Just, you know. Not here anyway. In our in our in our premium programs. You do. But but just think about in the bedroom. If you’re ordering him around, you’re not really able to receive pleasure. But if you allow yourself to relax and receive pleasure. It’s going to be a lot more fun for you. It’s going to be a lot more fun for him because what he wants to do is make you happy and every which way. If you’re not attracting guys who want to make you happy in every which way and encourage you to take better care of yourself, who encourage you to do for yourself, who encourage you to work less so that you can enjoy your life more. Then you’re attracting guys who are a mirror for how little regard you have for your role as a relationship. Establish your inner navigator. You’re attracting guys that see that you don’t believe that your dreams are that important. You are attracting guys who who are a mirror for the fact that you don’t believe that your desires really matter that much, that your voice really matters, doesn’t really matter that much. You’re going to attract guys who mirror that back to you. One of the things in our our upper level program that we see a lot as a lot of our time is spent coaching women to allow how good this is to get better.

Speaker2: [00:21:14] One woman just posted. She said, just a few years ago, if you’d have told me, this is my life, I’m sitting in my home. My husband is has done all of this stuff to make my home better. My work is going better than ever. If you’d have told me this in my life, I would tell you no way. That’s impossible, especially in such a short time. And so our work with her at this point is how can your life be better, not in a demanding, you know, be kind of way, but in a sit back and receive allow your life to get better, allow your life to get much better because we’re about helping you live. A life that is a life that you love. A love that you love. And a you that you love. Because the journey to your soulmate and the life of your dreams, the journey to that man of your dreams is about loving yourself so much. Not in the way that that so many women say, no, no, I do love myself. You say it, but you don’t value yourself. Right. I was talking to one one woman who had invested $350,000 into her undergraduate degree and her law degree. And so that’s not uncommon. It’s a little on the high side, but it’s not uncommon.

Speaker2: [00:22:37] And so what went into that is that just $350,000, it’s the belief that this is worth investing in because there’s long term benefit. It’s the hours upon hours upon hours of studying and prioritizing exams and and maybe internships and all this stuff over other things. Why? Because you believe it has long term potential and there’s a return on that. If your love life is getting a teeny tiny fraction of that kind of dedication, you’re going to see it reflected in the men that you attract. They’re just not going to see you as that valuable because you don’t see yourself as that valuable. They’re not going to see themselves being able to build a life with you because you don’t see yourself building that kind of life. You wish it, you want it, but you’re not willing to do what it takes to build the life. And you know what? And today’s day and age with the zillions of apps with the frickin porn out of control. And by the way, the biggest growing area of porn is women doing porn. So women are being attracted to that, too, because it takes you out of the messiness of personal development, understanding how you tick, understanding how the opposite sex ticks. And and it it’s it’s because there’s a cheapening going on in our society and it’s happening everywhere. Right. So many women we had we had one client who said she she didn’t understand why she couldn’t keep having casual sex while searching for her soulmate because she had needs.

Speaker2: [00:24:22] Now, here’s the thing about about that. There’s a lot of different ideas. Some women never have sex and women want to have a lot of sex. It’s not that sex isn’t important. It is important. But that isn’t all you have to offer. You’ve got to be able to see the full picture of what you do. You bring magic into the man’s life. But if you’re not in touch with that magic, if you’re just running yourself ragged, if all you do, if all you are is your professional title, you don’t have anything to offer. The man who wants to build a life. He doesn’t want your credit score. He doesn’t want your Big 41k. He doesn’t want your big house. He wants a magic that he can’t get for himself. He can’t. He wants a magic that he can’t get by himself. You want your feminine radiance in your courage. And he wants your confidence that you’re worth it. You deserve. To have the love of your life. You deserve to have the man of your dreams. You deserve to have the the the family that you’ve always wanted. If you’re a single mom, you deserve to have your son, your daughter, your kids have a father in the home that they can respect, look up to, and model themselves after in a positive way. Because if you’re a single mom, your kids are modeling themselves after your relationships right now, whether you like it or not, not by what you say, but by what you do.

Speaker2: [00:25:51] And that applies to everyone. It’s not just what you say, it’s what you do. Comment below. You’re ready to put put some actions behind your words. You ready to get out of your comfort zone? Stretch yourself. Step into that feminine radiance and courage. And step into really owning. Being the relationship, establishing her and navigator. That doesn’t mean coach him, run them around, tell him what to do. That means allowing yourself to live where you are. Elevating yourself into. Being. I don’t like to use these terms so much because people think, oh, it’s the like to being a queen. Because the man wants to be a king. And how does he know he’s a king? He’s got a queen on his arm. Not an arrogant queen, but a woman who is self-assured. Self-confident, has high self esteem. And that doesn’t happen like that. That doesn’t happen. Shazam, like that. It happens step by step, day by day, by saying, I’m willing today to make a decision to get out of my comfort zone and stretch myself and actually value my dreams much higher than I ever have before. Because if you don’t value what’s inside of you, if you don’t value your hopes and dreams, no man ever will. Thanks for joining me today. Join me on another episode of Inside the Male Mind and we’ll talk about some other topics. Bye for now.

Speaker1: [00:27:26] Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode. If you’re a single professional woman who wants your success in your love life to match your success in your career or business, and you’re looking to get crystal clear right now about why Truelove just hasn’t been knocking on your door and and what you can do about it. You’re going to want a book, a love breakthrough clarity call right now with one of our love breakthrough specialists. She’ll get on the phone or zoom call with you one on one to assess exactly what’s been holding you back and love what it is you really want and how to get there as quickly as possible. By the end of this compassionate and professional assessment, you’ll finally have clarity, plus an immediately actionable path forward. So just go to single soulmate dot com forward slash call to book a call that’s single to soulmate dot com forward slash call for a free love breakthrough call. That’s for you. If you’re a single professional woman who is as serious about your love life right now as you’ve been about getting your degree or your career or business success. And if you’re ready to finally have some clarity and have a breakthrough in your love life right now, this is perfect for you again that’s single soulmate dot com forgot to book your life changing one on one assessment call right away.

Episode Transcription End —>

Hope you enjoyed this episode of Single to Soulmate! If you want to learn more about Johnny and Lara or want to start your own soulmate journey, go to johnnyandlara.com.