Do you feel stuck in your current situation? Not just struggling, but so down that you believe that life won’t get better? It doesn’t have to be that way. Life CAN be better- here’s how.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
– How negativity stops you from achieving your dreams
– Why believing, and knowing, that life can be better is crucial for your love life
– How life has become better for us (Johnny and Lara) than we could have EVER imagined

READY TO CHANGE YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR THE BETTER, FOREVER?

Want to know your Love Pattern? After over 16 years of helping women find the men of their dreams, we’ve identified 5 different Love Patterns, each with different characteristics that can keep you from finding true love. Find what your Love Pattern is and what to do about it by taking our free, 2 minute quiz. Just go to https://bit.ly/lovepatternquiz, discover your Love Pattern, and we’ll tell you what changes you can make starting TODAY.

Want to learn more life-changing love lessons like this one, alongside a supportive group of like-minded women? Go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/LoveBreakthroughCommunity to join our FREE Facebook Community today!
There you’ll have access to Q+As, new weekly Facebook Lives from Johnny and Lara, tons of recorded FB lives, conversations about engaging questions, support from women just like you, and more. Join here- you don’t want to miss out!

—-

Did you enjoy this episode?
If so, please let us know by leaving a review and share it with a friend that might get something out of it. To be notified when a new episode comes out, subscribe to the show on your favorite platform.

Episode Transcription Start —>
S5EP1

Speaker1: [00:00:03] Hello and welcome to single The Soulmate Podcast where we help you, the love warrior or love word to be to go from single to with your soulmate. Living the life of your dreams. Well. Hello, hello. Hello. And I am here to give you today’s love lesson. This one’s pretty straightforward, and it’s about why that man doesn’t take you seriously. So in the in the dating process, getting to know someone process, a lot of times we hear that women say he just doesn’t seem to be taking me seriously. You know, like he just wants one thing. He just wants sex. You know, he’s not talking about anything that that deep. He’s just talking about himself, whatever. But he’s just not taking me seriously. And so first, the first thing to recognize. You deserve to be taken seriously. You deserve to have your your interests, the things that you’re excited about, be paid attention to. You deserve to have your hopes and dreams be taken, taken seriously. You deserve to have your likes and dislikes be considered. You deserve to have your preferences be considered. You deserve to feel comfortable in dating relationship and then in a relationship you absolutely deserve that. So why is it that although you’re like, let’s say you’re taken seriously at work, right? You manage people, you’re you know, you have people that you supervise whatever you you you do your work seriously. You’re a professional, you know, that kind of thing, right? So you’re taken seriously at work, but you’re not being taken seriously in your in your love life and your dating life.

Speaker1: [00:02:02] So so what’s going on here? So here’s an answer to the question is really one of two options why that man’s not taking you seriously? One, he’s a complete zero as a human being. He’s a narcissist. He’s a jerk. He’s an airhead. Whatever you want to call it. Self-absorbed, self-centered. Just an an asshole, right? A knucklehead. This is the the overarching term that I use, the umbrella term that I use. He’s a knucklehead. So that certainly can be the reason why. Absolutely. So let me ask you, though, about that. Why are you interested in this knucklehead? And why does this knucklehead even think for a moment that he has a chance with you? Why is that right? So here’s let’s go to to reason number two for why he doesn’t take you seriously and just know that that I say this respectfully. He’s following your lead. He doesn’t take you seriously because you don’t take you seriously. You take your career seriously, but you don’t take your love life seriously. You take fixing your house seriously, taking care of your car seriously, your education seriously. But you just don’t take your love life seriously. You don’t take what every expert says. All of the research shows is the number one determinant of your happiness and fulfillment in your life, which is your primary romantic relationship.

Speaker1: [00:03:41] You just don’t take that seriously. You don’t take that as seriously as you took your your degree or your second degree. You don’t take that as seriously as you take your work. You don’t even take that that seriously as you take going on vacation or something like that. Now, worry about something doesn’t doesn’t equate to taking it seriously. Wishing for something that doesn’t equate to taking it seriously. Wanting something. Doesn’t equate to taking it seriously. You know, like you don’t take you seriously, meaning you put you last on your priority list. You put you last on your priority list. You put what you want last on your priority list. And. That doesn’t mean wanting, wishing or hoping for it, but you put you last on the working for it. You. We all know that guy or that gal in college who just didn’t go to class that much. Didn’t study. Didn’t put the time in on their papers most of the time, unless they were some genius person. They didn’t do well in college. I remember when I was studying for the bar exam, I had a friend from law school call me up and say, Hey, man, you want to go to the movies? I was like, What are you talking about? I’m studying for the bar exam. He’s like, Yeah, but I’m not trying to do that all the time. You know, I got to go out and have some fun, do some things.

Speaker1: [00:05:24] Yeah, I passed. He failed. I passed two states. First shot. He failed. I had to take it three times. Why? Because he wasn’t taking it that seriously. I also. Hey, Haley. Yeah. I believe I take my relationship serious. He doesn’t. Well, he’s following your lead. Haley, I. The key part of your statement there is I believe I’m taking it seriously. So this is the thing. My friend believes that he was studying for the bar exam. He was he was studying for the bar exam, but he didn’t take it as seriously as I did. He bought a book because there was books about how to pass the bar exam. I paid big money for a class where they could take me step by step how to do it, how to avoid the common pitfalls, where to focus my energy, where to not focus my energy. How to prepare for it literally. How to prepare that day for it. He just didn’t do that, not until the third time. And the third time is when he passed. And so in life, life gives us feedback about whether we are prepared for what it is that we want. Again, wishing for it, wanting for it, hoping for it. That’s not really preparing, especially when it’s something hard. Graduating from high school, maybe not so hard. Graduating college a little bit harder. Graduating from a good college, probably hard.

Speaker1: [00:06:56] I don’t know. I just went to an average college, but graduating from law school, medical school, chiropractic school really hard. Right. That’s why there’s not a bunch of doctors walking around or lawyers walking around while there. There is, but you know what I mean? Like, it’s not everybody has a law degree. Everybody has a doctorate degree. Right. And everybody doesn’t have so many love. Why? Because not everybody is getting prepared. A lot of people are wanting it. A lot of people are wishing for it. But not everybody’s getting prepared. Do some people get lucky? Absolutely. Absolutely. I knew a guy in in law school who barely studied, barely did anything. Pass his classes, pass the bar exam. Yeah. He’s lucky. He’s a genius. I don’t know. But for the most of us, we had to prepare. And you know what? The guy who didn’t prepare got the same law degree that I did. The people that didn’t prepare for their relationship got the same like they got married to their. I’m talking about not just married, period, to be married. A lot of people have been married, you know, and and I’m not talking about just getting married, but the people that are in soul mate, love relationships, they got lucky. But is that really like everybody’s plan? It’s like people winning a lottery. Like, of course, people do that. Somebody’s got to win, right? People go to Vegas, they pull the slot machine, they make thousands, millions of dollars.

Speaker1: [00:08:35] Of course that happens. But is that really going to be a good plan for most people now? Some people get lucky and love. Good for them. That’s not me. That’s not Laura. That’s not our coaches. That’s not our love. Where clients have walls full of pictures. And you know what? None of them were the get lucky and love on the first shot people. Okay. None of us got that right. But this guy isn’t taking you seriously because you want true love. You say true love is a priority. You want it because you want or need that companionship. You want to have a family. You want to have someone to share your life with. You want to partner to share life’s adventures with. You know? You want to know how it feels to be truly loved unconditionally. Maybe you’ve had everything but that. Right. You. You. You want to have that that unconditional love, right? You want to have someone to make memories with. You want to love you say you want to love because you want to have someone to to grow old with not just anybody, but that special someone to grow old with. You say you want true love because maybe you’ve had a horrible marriage and horrible divorce and you want to have your next relationship be your last relationship, your best relationship. You already know how not to do it, how you don’t want it now.

Speaker1: [00:10:08] You want how you do want it, right? Maybe you just want to be excited to come home because you’re tired or coming home to an empty home. Maybe you got a cat or a dog, but it’s basically an empty home. It’s the same four walls and it’s you talking to you, talking to the TV, talking to the radio, and you’re tired of it. You’re fed up with that. Maybe you just don’t want to die without someone truly loving you. Maybe you don’t want to be on your deathbed saying. I got a great house. I got a fat bank account. But I’m here with just the nurses and the doctors and nobody to hold me. Maybe that’s why you want true love or maybe something else, or maybe some combination thereof. But when you say that you want that, but you put love and everything to do with it last or low on your priority list. He takes your lead. You say you want true love, but you put learning about how to have true love last on your priority list. He takes your lead. You don’t want to learn how to get better at something that you haven’t been doing well at. Nobody who’s successful at anything succeeds that way. Maybe you’re like my friend in law school who failed the bar exam the first time, failed the bar exam the second time.

Speaker1: [00:11:33] And then you had the realization of, Hey, Johnny is not that smart. What did he do that I didn’t do? Well, I got prepared and I went all in on preparation. I went all in because I really wanted it. And I had to put my money where my mouth was. I had to put my time with my mouth. Was all of that stuff even just getting the LSAT to get into school. I worked a full time job and then every evening I was studying to pass the LSAT because as I mentioned, I went to a pretty mediocre college and was a pretty mediocre college student. But then I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. So what did I do? I’m like, I’m not going to get in anywhere like this, you know? And so I had to do really well on the LSAT. And so I had to really study. I had to really prepare. There’s something called Kaplan. They help you prepare and do well for the LSAT. Great. They told me exactly what to do and I followed them. Why? Because they helped other people pass. This is what our clients do. They come to us because they say we know what the way I’ve been doing it hasn’t been working. I’m going to try that. But that means you have to put learning higher on your priority list. Now, if you spend your time beating yourself up about the first time you fail, the second time you fail.

Speaker1: [00:12:56] The marriage that failed. The relationship that was terrible. If you spend your time doing that. You’re not going to be able to move forward. You can be healing while moving forward. This is what we help our clients do. But if you wait to heal, it’s basically like saying, I’m going to wait to go to I’m not going to go. I want to get fit and healthy, but I don’t want to go to the gym until I lose some weight. I don’t want to hire a trainer until I lose some weight. I don’t want to bring in the house cleaner to clean my house until I clean my house. It doesn’t make any sense. If you want to move forward, you’ve got to move forward. And that means putting love and everything around it, including learning about love, the kind of love that you haven’t had or that you’ve had and has slipped through your fingers and you have no idea why. Learning why that is. If you put if you say you want true love and you want a guy to take you seriously, you can’t put what’s inside of you lasts on your priority list. If you put all of the things that are exterior outside of you first and you put your dreams and desires last, after all of the important stuff, what you’ll have is a nice looking home, a nice looking, I don’t know, car, you know, visa bill or whatever or or or debt.

Speaker1: [00:14:20] But you won’t have the inside stuff because you’re putting all of your attention on the outside. And then you attract a guy who just is interested in your outside. He’s just interested in your body, your weight, sex, you know, stuff like that. You have to take the lead and he is following your lead. If you take you seriously and you take your dreams and desires seriously, so will he. One of the things we have in our community is love. Lawyers take their dreams seriously. And it’s not just about love working with us. Women get their dream jobs. They start that business that they’ve wanted to start all along. They get out of entangling and meshing dysfunctional family situations that have been just keeping them cooped up for years. Because once you decide to take yourself seriously and take your dreams seriously, the universe starts to respond. You start to learn what it takes to move up to that next level. It’s just like if you wanted to move up in your career, there’s things that you probably are doing now that you didn’t know how to do ten years ago, where you had to learn that right. Maybe you learned it from a mentor at work. Maybe you learned it by reading. Maybe you learned it by taking courses. Maybe you learned by watching and having people teach you.

Speaker1: [00:15:39] But you had to learn something. And if the thing that you’re trying to learn is being taught by someone who also doesn’t have what you want, you’re going nowhere. It’s like two people who are at the bottom rung of some corporate ladder asking, How do I get five steps up and never talking to the person who’s five step up? It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t. It’s like broke people asking broke people how to get rich. It’s people who don’t have a relationship, asking people who don’t have a relationship. How do I get a relationship? How do they know? They don’t know. If they knew, they wouldn’t be single and struggling and not with a relationship. It’s not that they don’t mean well. Look, if you ask me to come help you fix your car, I could want to help you. I could mean to help you. I’ve driven a car. You know, I’ve seen cars. I even seen people work on cars. But you do not want me telling you how to fix a car. I have no real idea of how they work to turn the key or now push the button and it goes. If it doesn’t go, I call somebody. That’s not my area of expertise. But when you ask someone who doesn’t know really about the thing that you want, you’re cementing the spot that you’re in because you’re reinforcing your own ideas about why you can’t move up, why you can’t get what you want, because they don’t know and you don’t know.

Speaker1: [00:17:11] And then you collaborate and you cement in these ideas, which most of the time are flat out wrong and usually the opposite of what you want and what you need to move forward. So taking your dreams seriously is how you give you, like attracting a guy who who follows your lead and will take you seriously. All right. Haley said. Right, exactly. I’m here because I’m ready to take my next relationship seriously. I kicked him out last night because it doesn’t take life seriously at all. And that’s all I do. I put in all the effort, so I was done. Yeah. So now it’s time to look at how did I attract someone? And the thing is, if you yourself are the one to determine how you attracted it, you’re simply. Going to miss things because you certainly didn’t attract in a guy like that on purpose. You certainly didn’t say, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to attract a guy who doesn’t take me seriously and who I feel compelled to kick out. You didn’t do that. You did your best. So your best thinking. Got you there. You got to go outside of your own head. Right. People in the in the 12 step community call it checking your thinking. Everybody calls it checking and thinking. Basically, when you are trying to move your experience up to that next level, checking your thinking is what winners do.

Speaker1: [00:18:42] That’s why in sports there exists coaches and people that help those who who want to move to the next level get better. You know, that’s who we help people with. You know, that’s what we help people with. We help women that are serious about making their next relationship, their best relationship, and maybe even their last relationship. We help women who want true love marriage and family at last, and they want that forever. So does that mean that you have to take your dreams more seriously? Yeah, you do. I also knew people just since I’m talking about law school, I also knew people in law school who never passed the bar exam. You want to know why they simply never took it seriously enough to put their all into it? And here’s the thing. My law degree. My passing the bar exam was no less valuable than the person that got lucky and passed it or was a genius and passed it. No, there’s a saying in the in the Marines. I was in the Marines officer candidate school. And they say, you know what they call the guy who graduates last from OCS? Officer Candidate School, sir. What does that mean? That when you become an officer in the military, they call you sir or or I don’t know what they call it, ma’am.

Speaker1: [00:20:09] I think I’m just going to talk about my experience, sir. In other words, if you graduate first or last, you’re still an officer. None of the ladies who are our loved were graduates. Those who we’ve officiated weddings, those who just sent us pictures, stuff like that. None of them say this was diminished because I got help. Nobody says that Steph Curry won back to back MVP’s and he got so much coaching along the way he didn’t say, well, you know, I don’t really deserve it because somebody had to help me. The Warriors won three championships in five years. The players didn’t say, Oh, I don’t deserve this because I had all these coaches helping me and telling me what would be best and how to best maximize my my time and talents. Nobody talks like that except when it comes to love and relationships. If you think that somehow your marriage, your family will be less than because you got help, you’re not thinking like winners do. I would encourage you to think like winners, to take your dreams seriously. Aren’t your dreams at least as important as a sports star’s dreams or more important? Right. Why do I attract married men? I don’t know all the details, Elaine, about why, but I can tell you in general why women attract married men because they’re dabblers. If you’re dabbling in your life, if you don’t take your dreams seriously enough to to learn about yourself, what makes you tick, how to be a healthy, feminine what we call feminine radiance to exude feminine radiance.

Speaker1: [00:21:52] How to be an effective relationship. Establishment and navigator. Because you as a woman are the relationship established and navigator. If you don’t take that seriously, if you basically dabble in that, look, we we have a podcast, a YouTube channel, Facebook group, all of that stuff. But that in and of itself, you’re watching these things out of order. I don’t know enough about you, like for us to be able to coach someone first. We have to see if we can actually help them. Second, we have to see if they’re willing to be coached like they actually want to be coached. Not like, oh yeah, tell me what to do, but I’m going to do something opposite. But they want to be coached. In other words, they want the outcome. And and then we have to see if they’re serious about it. Like, not just like I want it like, you know, like when I was a kid, I wanted to be a New York Yankee. But do they really want it then? So so if you’re and then there’s a whole intake form several pages to understand your history, all of that stuff. And then we take people step by step in order. Like if you know anything about baking or cooking, you can have great ingredients, but if you don’t put them in order, if you don’t know how to mix certain things together, even though you have all the ingredients, you’re not going to do that.

Speaker1: [00:23:18] Watching different things, listening to different things out of order and stuff like that is kind of like that where you don’t know what ingredients are the best for you. And if you know a lot, if you’re really into like baking and cooking, you know that even the elevation you live in Denver, you’re going to need to adjust your your settings for what it is you’re cooking, right? You live below the equator. It’s going to go like this. You live in a hot area. It’s going to go like that. You live in a cold air. It’s going to go like that. All of these things, right? If you’re really trying to reach that level of mastery, this is what we work with women. And because you don’t want to just have another relationship, you want to have a an epic relationship, you want to have that. So anyway, in terms of why to attract married men, we see it all the time. You’re dabbling in your love life. You’re dabbling in in in this whole arena of love and relationships. You watch a YouTube channel here, you watch it, you get a little book books. There are 15 bucks. There’s no commitment. You skip over the things that are hard. You you tell yourself this thing doesn’t apply to you.

Speaker1: [00:24:26] Books are great. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a wonderful place to start. But you know what? People that are serious, too, they get someone who can talk to them one on one and in a community to be able to take you to that next level. Right. So if you’re attracting married men, that’s feedback. That means that you’re dabbling. That means you don’t take your dreams seriously enough. And again, wanting it, wishing for it, hoping for it, worrying about it, those things don’t count as taking it seriously. That’s just the impetus to get started, to start to actually take it seriously. You know, like, again, the difference between me and my friend who failed the bar exam, I put a lot of time in way more time than he did. I put money in way more money than he did. And I allowed myself, look, I just graduated from law school. Why do I need to learn other stuff? Because each level there’s new stuff to learn. This is a life of wanting to improve. It’s what we call a growth mindset. We didn’t coin that term, but it’s what’s called a growth mindset. And and I believe that if other people have passed it, I could pass it. Yeah, I’m a kid from a broken home and grew up in poverty and stuff like that. That doesn’t matter. If I have the recipe, I can do it.

Speaker1: [00:25:48] It’s just like with with baking you can be a terrible baker, but if you have the recipe and are taught exactly how to use that recipe and apply it based on your specific thing, do you live in Denver? Okay, that’s high elevation. You need this. Oh, you live over here. Okay, you need that. Oh, what kind of stove do you have? I’m talking like I know that much about baking and cooking, which I don’t, but anyway. But I understand the concepts of it. Then you know what? Even a person who doesn’t know how to bake cookies or whatever can come out with some great cookies, great muffins, you know, you can do that. But if you are watching somebody make muffins and they put a little cinnamon in and you’re like, Oh, that’s the secret cinnamon. I’m going to take my recipe that I got off Google and and just add some cinnamon. You’re just you’re just throwing things. You might as well just close your eyes and just throw ingredients around, you know? So really think about that. It’s not that you deserve to be with married men, it’s just that that is what you’re attracting. That’s the feedback that you’re getting. And that doesn’t mean that that’s all you deserve, and it doesn’t mean that that’s all you can have. It just means that there is some stuff that you’re putting out there. You have no idea what you’re doing.

Speaker1: [00:27:01] You’re basically saying married men come in quality, men go away, and you don’t even know how how that’s happening. Otherwise, obviously, you would have fixed it. All right. So let’s see, why do I attract men younger than me? It’s going to be very similar to Good Elaine. I’m glad that was helpful. It’s going to be very similar to what we what I just said about married men. Here’s the thing. If you’re attracting men now, I don’t know if you’re talking about two or three years or like ten or 15 years. And I’m guessing, Sonia, that you’re saying it like it’s not a thing that you want, right? So you’re attracting men younger than you, and that’s not what you want. And so it may be that you again, I say this respectfully, you’re simply not exuding the emotional maturity for a man of your age range to be attracted to. I think like we work with women that want true love. Marriage and family. Now, are there people that just want to go on a lot of dates? Yes. If all you want is dating, we’re actually not the mentors for you. If all you want is to date, you could do that on your own. Just read a blog article, you know, wear a certain color, you’ll get dates. So we work with women and we speak to women. Whether you’re watching this, listening to this or whatever, we speak to women that want true love.

Speaker1: [00:28:29] You’ve already had love and OC love and whatever, you know, hot and stuff like that. But if you want hot, passionate love forever with your best friend. A grown man, not a little boy, but a grown man who wants to care for you, make you comfortable, protect, provide work for you, impress you, you know, show you off to his friends, whatever you want someone to be committed to you. That’s another level of emotional maturity. And you have to walk in with a certain level of emotional maturity so that he feels that we had one client. There’s a client in one of our programs. This just blew me away. Laura and Johnny, before your program, I never would have shown up on a date. Not 35 years. Updating. I have not shown up like how my date describes. Here’s what this guy wrote in all sincerity. You strike me as a very confident woman. You appear strong, self aware, and definitely in control of your aspirations and your emotions. Please know that I recognize that mutual comfort with the pace of our developing relationship is important. You’ve shown that you’re very capable of establishing the boundaries of your zones of comfort, and I promise to be sensitive and respectful of those. I am very responsive to feedback. If any perceived exuberance on my part outpaces your preferences, I certainly hold strong to the notion that building mutual trust is a critical attribute to develop in this crazy, mixed up dating world.

Speaker1: [00:30:10] This is literally just today. So what does that mean? That means that this woman has learned to be an effective relationship, establish her her feminine radiance and her courage drew in a man who got it, not by her words, because that’s less than 10% of what you’re communicating, but by everything the things she said and didn’t say, the way she communicated and didn’t communicate. The cadence to move everything is part of your feminine radiance. And if you don’t know how to wield that power, then you want to track the guy who says something like that. She’s been dating. She’s had 35 years of doing it. She’s never had this was just her first date. This is what he wrote to her after a first date. The dude got this woman is serious. This is a woman I have to take seriously. Now, I don’t know where it’s going to go, but clearly, after all of those years, her not having anything like that, when she learned what to do, basically she had a recipe to follow. Then she could be successful at what it is that she wanted to do. Again, we don’t know where that’s going to go, but are you having first dates like that where that’s what the guy is saying? If not, it’s time to take your dreams more seriously. Most people’s online dating profiles.

Speaker1: [00:31:41] I’m just going to say it. There. I mean in a non scientific way I can just say they’re horrible. But let me be a little bit more precise most. People’s online dating profiles. Now we work with women, we look at men’s online dating profiles, but we focus on women because you are the relationship established, you’re a navigator, you are the magnetizing power. So you draw in men you already see now. So in you what kind of menu drawing in most women’s online dating profiles are a beacon call to knuckleheads, a beacon call to guys that are all wrong for them. The words they say and don’t say the things they put first, the things they put last, the pictures they show, the pictures they don’t show. The whole profile shows a lot. But when you do it yourself, you have no man’s point of view or you read some blog article or something like that, and you don’t have a step by step process for doing it. Even how you show up to sitting down on a computer, all of that affects that. So it is most women’s profiles, overwhelming majority, well over 90%, which means I know everybody thinks not me. That’s somebody else. No, it’s you. Your online dating profile is a beacon call to knuckleheads. How do you know? That’s probably what you’re getting again. Doesn’t mean you don’t deserve someone special. Doesn’t mean you don’t want someone special.

Speaker1: [00:33:08] It doesn’t mean you don’t wish for someone special. It doesn’t mean you don’t worry about what your life will be like if you don’t have that someone special. But you’re simply driving away good men and inviting in guys that are all wrong. And that’s just the feedback. That simply means that there’s some things that you don’t know. And you could learn everything is learnable. That’s the cool thing. I can agree with this. Yeah, everything is learnable. That’s the cool thing about life now is that everything is learnable. That if you don’t know how to do something, you can learn something. Look, if you don’t know how to play the ukulele, you could go to YouTube and watch some ukulele. Even better, you could get a ukulele teacher to, you know, to teach you how to do it, where to put your fingers, all that type of stuff. Right. But you know what? Learn to play the ukulele. We happen to have quite a few women in our community right now learning to play the ukulele. I think it’s the whole shelter in place thing. I want to do something. But here’s the thing. Learn to play the ukulele. It’s not that emotionally triggering. This is not that hard. It’s hard in terms of a skill, but it’s not hard in terms of the emotional investment in it. And so what does that mean? That means if you want to do something that’s harder and more emotionally invested than learning to play the ukulele, the YouTube videos are just not going to cut it.

Speaker1: [00:34:36] Because when it gets hard, when you’re not sure exactly how to apply it to this situation in your life, if you have nobody to go to, nobody to help you apply this learning to this part of your life right now, you’re out you your mind is like, I can’t get over this, this stumbling block. And then the rest of the stuff you learn is just clutter because you’re trying to go step by step. Just think about in a baking thing, right? If they tell you to grease the pan in order to make this stuff work or something, but you don’t know exactly how to grease the pan or because of your pan, the grease needs to be different. Or you forget to grease the pan and then you bake it and you’re like, Why didn’t it work? The YouTube video is not going to help you. The recipe book is not going to help you because they’re like, I don’t know, I told you what to do. I don’t know why it didn’t work because I don’t know what’s going on with you, because you can’t ask the book of question. You can’t ask the YouTube video question. So this is why having one on one interaction and community interaction and an opportunity to learn and hear things again and again and again is vital because you’re like, Hey, I did this and I did that and I did that.

Speaker1: [00:35:50] Why did it turn out like this? Wait, you did this and that, but did you remember this? Oh, no, I totally forgot that. Oh, okay. Well, now we know why it didn’t work. Great. So you can you learn in real time the days when you need to just digest information and then figure it out on your own. Those days are long gone. Life is way too complicated, way too scattered. There’s way too much going on. It is critical to learn things in real time right now and apply it custom to your situation and your life. This is why our programs are designed like that, because that’s what we help people do. It’s more than how to word things correctly. Sonia is so much more than that. I’m giving you examples of things like baking and stuff. That’s very simple to understand and very straightforward to understand. But when we get into like, why are you getting triggered? Well, what triggers you may be different than what triggers somebody else. So we may have to talk to you about why you’re getting triggered over here. What about over there? Are using this or using that. So there’s a lot of moving parts that need to be put together. If you put it together right. Things fail. If you put it together wrong, it’s just frustrating over and over.

Speaker1: [00:37:06] So yes, the wording is part of it, but there’s so much more than that. I mean, there’s people you can pay to do your online dating profile for you. $3,000, $5,000, $10,000. There. Totally do that. Will that be you? Look, we’ve had clients that have paid $10,000 to have someone do a whole online dating profile, take photos and then match, make them with somebody. And after all of that. They come and work with us. Why? Because all of that was a great veneer. But they want someone real, someone who actually responds to them. And so this is why it’s just not it’s not just the veneer. It’s not just like, oh, say this word. It’s like the example I gave about you see someone making awesome cupcakes and they put cinnamon in and you’re like, Ooh, that’s the trick. Put some cinnamon in. It’s like, Well, cinnamon may be right for you may not be right for you. It depends on your situation. If you want to know if you’re in a place where you’re just frustrated with going around in circles and you’re really fed up with like basically just having love either be non-existent or slip through your fingers and you’re tired of wasting time and you really want to get a recipe and a roadmap to move forward quickly. You might want to get on the phone with my lovely wife, Dr. Laura, and have a love breakthrough assessment call.

Speaker1: [00:38:31] This is where she will work with you to get clarity about what’s not working. Where are you getting tripped up in your love life? What is it that you truly want? And then how can you get there as quickly as possible? And you know what? Getting there as quickly as possible has to be something that actually matters to you. Otherwise, she’s giving you a roadmap and you’re like, All right, great. I’ll just put that under my mattress and lay here and, you know, watch more Netflix. It has to be a roadmap that you actually want to use. But if you’re really fed up with sitting there watching Netflix night after night and stuff like that, I hear they have a lot of good stuff on Netflix. I don’t know. I don’t have Netflix, but if you’re tired of basically being where you’re at and you’re really ready to move to that next level, maybe time for Love, Breakthrough Clarity Call get clarity about what’s not working for you, where you want to go, and how you can get there as quickly as possible. And I’ll put a link in the comments here so you can see her calendar. And, you know, it’s it’s important for you to allow yourself to to vote about an hour or two to it. Some of the calls take an hour. Some take more up to up to 2 hours, but be willing to show up and get ready.

Speaker1: [00:39:48] Be ready to be real. You know, they’re ready to be real and find out what’s really going on. Because one thing is that I know each person has a different history. Each person has different blind spots. We all do. That’s just how we do as human beings is we have blind spots and each person has certain dreams and desires in their heart. But we can’t want those dreams and desires more than you. So if you really want to take your dreams seriously and you want a map out of the hell that you’re living in, and I don’t mean your whole life is hell. Your life is good in certain areas, but you want to map out of the place that you’re in, that you’re stuck, you’re frustrated, you’re annoyed, whatever you’re just tired of. Doing the thing that you’re doing, you’re just tired of. You want to have something else you want true love. You want marriage, you want family. Maybe you want to have your kids have a father in the home who they respect. To help you shoulder the load of parenting to help make decisions, to help father the kids. Because, look, do kids need love? Absolutely. But you know what? Mothers can’t father and fathers can’t mother. So kids need a mother and a father, ideally, right? So if you want your kids to actually have a father, not when they’re 30 years old, but have a father now, when it’s going to have the biggest impact on them, then maybe it’s time for a little breakthrough clarity call before they get too old and they learn from you because you’re their role model.

Speaker1: [00:41:27] They learn from you. Love isn’t real. Love doesn’t happen. You know, can’t go for your dreams. I encourage you to recognize that everything is learnable, including love, no matter what your experience has been, no matter how long you’ve been circling around and around and just messing things up and stuff like that. Look, I have friends from law school that that failed it. I have one guy who I, I honestly, I thought this dude, he came from a whole family of lawyers. I thought, this dude is way smarter than me. He’s going to knock this out the first time. He’s never going to have to study. He passed it on the sixth time. He failed five times. If you have failed in relationships five times or more. Beautiful thing is everything is learnable, but you have to make it a high enough priority so that you take your dreams seriously. And then you can learn and then you can have something else. All of our clients on the wall here, single moms, never in a relationship. We have some clients that never been in a relationship in their late thirties, forties, even fifties, never been in a serious relationship.

Speaker1: [00:42:32] Learned to do that. Married, divorced. Married and divorced. Married and divorced. Meaning? Married and divorced a few times, you know, or been in serious relationships but never married. Whatever. Whatever it is that you have had the experience of. We after 15 years, we probably had a client who had something very similar. And if we can’t help you, if we know that we can’t help you, we’ll tell you that, too. So Lauren’s very friendly, but she is a doctor. So you’re going to show up ready to be, you know, have a have a thorough analysis and examination in a good way. In a friendly way, but ready to get real. Because nobody goes to the doctor’s office just to hang out. Right. You go there to fix something that isn’t going well. So. All right. Hope that’s helpful. Thanks for joining me today. Remember, if you want the man to take your dreams seriously, you take your dreams seriously. Bye for now. Hey, I hope you enjoyed today’s episode. And if you did enjoy it, please leave us a review on whatever your favorite podcast platform is. Reviews. Let other women know that we exist, and it’s a little bit of like a paying it forward thing. So if you’re enjoying it, getting a lot out of it, learning that, we’d love to hear from you in a review. And we have tons of five star reviews. We’d love to have your five star review or whatever your honest review is. Thanks so much for listening to single. Awesome.

Episode Transcription End —>

Hope you enjoyed this episode of Single to Soulmate! If you want to learn more about Johnny and Lara or want to start your own soulmate journey, go to johnnyandlara.com.