Whether you realize it or not, the man you choose to date, marry, or have children with has a direct and HUGE impact on your present and future self. But what exactly does that mean? How does a man “impact your life”? Listen to this episode to hear what I mean.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
– How Lara’s life changed with a good man by her side
– How a bad relationship impacts your life, forever
– What to do to attract a good man that will positively impact your life

READY TO CHANGE YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR THE BETTER, FOREVER?

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Episode Transcription Start —>
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Speaker1: [00:00:03] Hello and welcome to single The Soulmate.

Speaker2: [00:00:06] Podcast where we help you, the love warrior or love word to be to go from single to with your soulmate. Living the life of your dreams.

Speaker1: [00:00:18] Hi there. So this is Laura Fernandez, and I’m so excited to be here and I’m trying to figure out what to do here. Okay. So Facebook has changed the Facebook Live. Family setting. So bear with me while I figure this out. So I’m coming at you live from my porch, my patio at the place that we’re staying, Johnny and I, in Denmark. So we’re staying about 30 minutes outside of Copenhagen, and we’re in a beautiful little town. And I thought I would. And actually the weather is amazing right now. And I thought I would come in here and just really talk to you today about the real impact of men, the real impact of, well, a good man on your life and the real impact of a bad man on your bad, for lack of a better word, a bad for you, a low quality man for your life. And the reason I really started thinking about this, I would take off my reading glasses here. The reason I started thinking about this is because. When I think about the impact that having the right man in my life has had on the quality of my life, that’s what makes me want to, like, talk about this like so. Back when I was 30, I decided that, you know, I was I was a professional. I was a chiropractor. I had a busy practice. And I knew that my practice was very important to me.

Speaker1: [00:02:01] My career my career trajectory was very important. But I also knew that true love, marriage and family was a high, high priority for me. And I had been married. I had been divorced at a young age, and I knew I wanted to have a family. And I just knew that somehow instinctively I knew that having that that healthy relationship with a good man to support me somehow I just instinctively knew that this had to be one of the top three priorities in my life, or it just wasn’t going to happen. And because I had been trying and trying and trying and it just wasn’t it wasn’t. I was dating all these dudes. I was dating these guys that just they were ghosting me. They were only interested in one thing. You know what I’m talking about. Have you ever had that where they. I meet these guys. I met a guy once who it was very clear all he wanted to do is just have sex. And I was looking for my husband. I was looking for the father of my children. And I gotten I had gotten past that kind of like just only chemistry as the most important thing or chemistry was the kind of the thing that was kind of driving the relationships. And I knew that something else had to be a priority, something else. So when I think back though, to what it took and what it and having the right having the right man in my life.

Speaker1: [00:03:48] And when I look at the impact of having a good man as my husband, who’s 100% on my side, I look at how that has helped me really fulfill my potential. And that’s really what I want to talk about here. So when I was in my twenties, I was going from one relationship and then I’d have a break, I’d take a little break. Sometimes I take a year and then I would meet somebody new and then I would get in another relationship, and then that relationship would break up, and then I’d have to recover from the heartbreak of that. And that would take 3 to 6 months at least, and that would affect my health. I would stress eat, I would drink a little bit too much. Sometimes I would retail therapy to kind of like numb out the pain. I would keep myself really, really, really busy with my girlfriends going out. And what would happen? Is it start? I would go. Relationship and breakup. Relationship and then breakup. And so it was like this spiral going down. Relationship, break, breakup. I’d feel worse about myself. Relationship breakup, I’d feel worse about myself. Relationship breakup, I’d feel worse about myself and on and on and on it would go. And that affected my potential as a chiropractor, as a doctor of chiropractic, that that affected how I showed up in the world with my family, that affected my emotional health.

Speaker1: [00:05:32] That affected my physical health. And. When I started to really step into my power and really started to own that, that there is more to relationships than just chemistry. And I really started to own that. Of course, I’m a badass. I knew that inside, but I wasn’t reaching my full potential in every area of my life because the relationships with these men would kind of snag me. And like I said, that spiral down so I really could see the impact of these bad relationships. So here’s my point. So the impact of men in your life, the impact of the right man in your life. And I want to paint a picture for you, because it is so important to have the right man in your life because he is your co decision maker in your life. He is the man who is going to you’re going to make decisions with about where to live. You’re going to make decisions about what to eat. You’re going to make decisions about whether to have children or not or not. You’re going to make decisions about where you go on vacation. You’re going to make decisions about where you work and where he works. And that is your co decision maker in life.

Speaker1: [00:06:57] And so this is the most important relationship that you will ever have. And even for those of you who are moms and or who will be moms or who are moms, of course, having a child is a very important and impactful relationship. But I’m here to tell you that your children will go away. They’re going to go away and live their own life. If they’re healthy, they should they should go off and live their life. So it’s not that they’re not important to you, not that you’re not important to them, but the person that you decide to marry is your co decision maker in life and will have the most impact on the quality of life for the rest of your life. So it makes sense to really like have this be one of the top three priorities in your life. So when I think back when I was a chiropractor and Johnny, Johnny and I had met and met and fell in love, and I started a chiropractic. I was already a chiropractor in Marin County, California, but I moved over to Oakland, California and East Bay and started up a chiropractic practice. And Johnny helped me, you guys, Johnny helped me start up and he’s the one who actually made this chiropractic practice be the most successful that it was. He gave it his attention and his energy and his love and. I had never known that a man would do that for me.

Speaker1: [00:08:33] I had never known that. I could never really imagine what that would feel like to have that kind of support and to have him by my side, helping me make decisions about where to have the office, what to what you know, how to paint it or how to get it ready. But when we had to, we had to get the an x ray machine installed in the chiropractic office. And so there was a lot of complex stuff we had to do with putting lead in the walls and getting enough amps of electricity into the building. And that was this whole thing that we had to do with the electricity company. And he managed all of this while I was figuring out the more clinical aspects of building that practice and of of building out that new practice. So he was my co decision maker and he helped me make good decisions about my business, my health. And of course, it was reciprocated. I did that for him. It’s not like, you know, I’m just like sitting around. He’s not and I’m not doing anything for him. I’m just talking. This is a reciprocal relationship, but I’m just talking about the impact of me stepping into my potential even more by having the right man for me. And that’s what I’m saying here, because of having this a quality man who loved me, who would step up for me and who was really just the right man for me, my soulmate.

Speaker1: [00:10:08] Because of having that I could that impact on my life. I could make better decisions. Does that make sense? So I can make better decisions about my life, about my career, and instead of spiraling down like I was talking about, like, so you get into a relationship, then you break up and then you have that heartbreak or that regret or that shame or that sadness. And then you’re spiraling down and spiraling down and spiraling down instead of having that one relationship after the other. I was able to find stable ground emotionally, physically, financially, mentally in every area of my life. And so that’s what I want to say. Make finding the love of your life make it a priority. That’s what our most successful clients have done. That’s what I did make it. And when I say priority, I mean it needs to be one of the top three priorities in your life. I’m not just saying like pay lip service to it. Like, yeah, it’s a priority. So I mean, actually learning about your decision making framework, how you think about men make it a priority. So when you do that, that is going to affect the quality of your life and it’s going to help you step into your potential. And, you know, Jonny helping me build up his chiropractic practice because of him and because of his support, I was able to step into my power as a doctor of chiropractic and help.

Speaker1: [00:11:53] And he helped me. Just really step into my potential. And so when I think about the impact of the men who don’t show up for you, I want to see if I can actually see any if there’s anybody. I just want to see pardon me while I’m checking out this new format here. Okay. All right. All right. I’m still figuring it out. So my. What was my point here? So the. The impact of of putting. Finding your soulmate, finding your husband, the future father to your children or grandfather to your grandchildren. The impact of that cannot be overstated. So what I want to say to you and for all of you is you must make it a high priority in your life. You must realize that this is the most important decision that you’ll ever make in your life. Bar none. It’ll affect every little nook and cranny of your life to a degree that you can’t even fully imagine now. So. You know. Yeah, I was thinking about a woman who had come to me and she had married really the wrong guy. And. And how do I know he’s the wrong guy? Well, he was not an equal partner to her. And what I mean by that is.

Speaker1: [00:13:40] He didn’t step up with her to face their challenges together. Any time they had challenges, he would turn away from the challenges. Because life is going to throw you challenges, by the way, even with your soulmate. Just so you know. So but whenever they had challenges, he just wanted to bury his head in the sand. They went to counseling. They did all these things whenever they needed to talk about something like emotionally mature adults do. They talk about the difficult things. He didn’t want to do it and he wasn’t showing up for her. And so what that meant is for her, what that what that looked like for her is that she was always dimming her light, always kind of stepping back to kind of just to preserve that relationship and preserve his ego. She would kind of just step back and just kind of cower a little bit emotionally, sit back and not say much, not really step up for her dreams because every time she stepped up for his dream, her dreams. He would always squash her because he was so in fear about life and about everything in life. And so this is this is and so what I’m saying is, is that that affected the quality of her life because she was wasn’t able to move forward in her career. She was in her like her, her whole like health.

Speaker1: [00:15:16] All of her health or emotional health, her physical health was affected because she was emotionally eating and just affected every area of her life. So she wasn’t able to keep moving forward and reach her full potential because she had this man who was not an equal contributing, emotionally mature person in her life, and that has affected her life. And so that’s why I say to you, for those of you here in this group, to make this one of the highest priorities in your life. Meaning when I say make this, I mean make intentionally becoming the best version of yourself, understanding how you make decisions about men and about relationships, learn about how to create a healthy decision making framework, how to have a what we call a healthy picker. Fix your picker and learn about this. Become what John and I call a student of love. Become a person who loves personal growth, personal development, and learn to embrace. An intentional journey to finding your soulmate, a personal growth journey to finding your soulmate, because that’s really the only and the best way to do it. Because here’s the thing. You’re going to get into a relationship sooner or later, you’re going to get into a relationship. You want to do it consciously, you want to do it intentionally. And the impact of choosing the right man, of having a decision making framework that is effective, the impact of that, the ripple effect on on you and on your life is I mean, we’re talking the impact is for the next 40, 50, 60 years of your life.

Speaker1: [00:17:15] For those of you who have been married and divorced and have children with your ex, that decision to choose a man who you chose, a man who was not the right man for you. Otherwise, I’m going to assume that. Right, because you’re divorced now. Now you have children with him, and I’m sure you’re grateful that you have children with him. But you also the impact on your life is for the rest of your life, meaning that you’re going to have your ex around the wrong man for you. At your children’s graduation, high school graduation. College graduation, their wedding. When babies are born, you’re going to have to be around your ex for the rest of your life. And for some of you, you had an amicable divorce, but many of you did not. And so you’re going to be around this toxic, maybe narcissistic or just really dysfunctional type of human because of the decisions that you made back when you didn’t really have a healthy decision making framework. So this is why it’s so important to shift. How you think shift, how you make decisions and learn a new and healthier thought process around your whole relationship life and really embrace this as a personal growth and personal development journey because the impact and the ripple effect on you and your children will be for the rest of your life.

Speaker1: [00:18:54] It’s that important. So I hope this is helpful. If you have any questions about what I’m what I said here, definitely be. I’m welcoming any questions or comments down below as you listen to this. I just really want you to get I’m going to leave now, but I want you to get the impact and the importance of really making this a priority and doing something differently, doing this, learning about relationships and learning about becoming your own soulmate first, becoming what we call a student of love, where you’re learning about this, learning about men, learning about yourself, learning about how you make decisions and making the necessary changes so that you can choose a healthy man. Whose impact on your life will actually help you open and step into your power even more, step into your potential as a human, as a woman in every level of your life, because that’s what we’re talking about here. All right. So definitely I’ll come back to this live and look at the at the thread of questions or comments if you have any later. I’m happy to answer questions and I hope you’re having a wonderful and blessed day wherever you are in the world. It’s 637 here in Denmark, 6:37 p.m.. And it’s good to talk to you. All right, bye bye.

Speaker2: [00:20:30] Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode. Hey, if you’re a single professional woman who’s had success in your career or business and you want your love life to match that success, and you’re looking to get a lot of clarity right now about why true love hasn’t been knocking on your door and more importantly, what you can do about it. Then you’re going to want to book a love breakthrough clarity call right away with one of our love breakthrough specialists. So get on the phone or zoom call with you one on one to assess exactly what’s been holding you back in love. Why is it that other people are finding love and you aren’t? And she’ll also go over with you. What is it that you really want and how can you get it as quickly as possible? Now, by the end of this compassionate and professional assessment, you’ll finally have clarity plus an immediately actionable path forward. All you have to do is go to single day soulmate dot com forward slash call to book that free call again. It’s single to soulmate forward slash call for complementary love breakthrough call that is for you. If you’re a single professional woman who is as serious about her love life right now as you’ve been in your life, about getting your degree or degrees, your career or business success, all of that stuff. If you want to have it all and you’re ready to finally have some clarity and get a breakthrough and actionable path forward, then this is for you again, that single soulmate dot com forward slash call to book your life changing one on one assessment call right away.

Episode Transcription End —>

Hope you enjoyed this episode of Single to Soulmate! If you want to learn more about Johnny and Lara or want to start your own soulmate journey, go to johnnyandlara.com.