You have 3 minutes with a man.
First impressions are endlessly important- and they happen quicker than you think. Have you ever wondered what men are thinking within the first 3 minutes of meeting you? You might be surprised.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
– How men determine what they think of you
– Why the first 3 minutes after meeting a man are vital
– What you can do to step into your power in first impressions

READY TO CHANGE YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR THE BETTER, FOREVER?

If you’re ready to make big shifts in your love life to find the man of your dreams go to https://bit.ly/singletosoulmate-call to book a FREE call with one of our Love Breakthrough Specialists to assess exactly what’s been holding you back in love, what you REALLY want, and if and how we can help you get there as quickly as possible.

—-

Did you enjoy this episode?
If so, please let us know by leaving a review and share it with a friend that might get something out of it. To be notified when a new episode comes out, subscribe to the show on your favorite platform.

Episode Transcription Start —>
S5EP8

Speaker1: [00:00:03] Hello and welcome to single The Soulmate.

Speaker2: [00:00:06] Podcast where we help you, the love warrior or love word to be to go from single to with your soulmate. Living the life of your dreams. Okay. Hello and and welcome. Glad to be sharing today inside the male mind. And so what we’re going to be talking about today is you have 3 minutes, 3 minutes with a man to to make an impression. And we’re going to talk about that and how important what leads up to those 3 minutes are. And so the what we’re doing here all the time is we’re always looking at how much power you have in the relationship. And the truth is, you have a lot more power than what you’ve been told. A lot of times women will come in and they’ll say, Well, the guys in my town or this or the guys that in my age range of that, or the men I meet at my work or this or things like that, or they’ll say, Well, it started out great and then it fizzled out and I don’t know why. And or they’ll say, Well, my, my friend seemed to be able to meet somebody, but I can’t seem to meet somebody. What’s going on here? That kind of stuff. So there’s a lot of different things going on, right? There’s a lot of times when women will say, you know, men these days, here’s the thing. If you’re walking in thinking of men these days, you’re affecting what happens in those first 3 minutes.

Speaker2: [00:01:36] Now, you’ve heard before that men are really visual, but there’s so much more than that because men can pick up things that they can’t articulate. Men can pick up things that they don’t know how to describe. They don’t even know that they’re picking up. But what they’re getting is who are you, plaything or real thing? Are you one of many? Or maybe the one and only? Are you the woman for whom they could have some little role in the hey little hang out for a little while until a woman that they really want comes along? Or are you a woman that they think, you know, I maybe could build a life with her? Like, which one of those are you? And what most women think is they think it has something to do with their hair, their nails, their weight, their age, their wrinkles, or lack thereof. And I got to tell you, it’s really none of those things. And you the more you believe it is those things, the more you put yourself in the plaything or one of many category. And let me explain to you why that is, because when you’re looking at excuse me, I’m going to drink some water here. When you’re looking at a man, a man that you meet. In the grocery store online, all of that. He’s picking up clues about who you are. And men pick up clues about who you are less consciously than you do. Because, you know, a lot of times women are pretty adept at picking up things about men.

Speaker2: [00:03:23] You know, does he have a ring or not? You know, stuff like that. But they’re mixed. They’re picking up surface things, but they’re missing deeper things. And the men actually, you think they’re just looking at surface things, but they’re actually picking up some of the deeper things. You know, what they’re picking up on. How do you feel about yourself? How do you how much do you love yourself? How much do you value yourself inside? And how do they pick up on those things? Because in those first 3 minutes, they can tell how much you value your insides, your hopes and dreams, your desires, your joys, your bliss. How much do you value those things? They can pick that up in those first 3 minutes. It’s a energy that you bring what we call feminine radiance and courage, because if you don’t have feminine radiance and courage, you can put on lipstick, a nice dress you can have. Be it the ideal weight you can work out, do the the workouts and all that stuff. But that is going to be missing. They’re picking up on whether you see yourself as a as wife material or whether you’re hoping to be wife material. You know, I put that in air quotes. Right. Because here’s the thing. You are a wife before you even meet the man. It’s just a matter of whether that man connects with you and is the right person for you.

Speaker2: [00:04:52] You you don’t become a wife when you get married. You walk in the energy of being a wife. So we have a we’ve had several clients that have gotten their doctorate while working with us in our programs. One woman had been abused. I don’t know if you if you know that at all, but dissertation in other words, they’ve got done everything in schooling that they wanted to do and needed to do, but they didn’t do their dissertation. And then you got to defend your your your thesis and all that type of stuff. And so it just always seemed like everything was getting in the way. But while working with us in our programs is when she completed it. Now, why would that happen? Because she started to recognize that you don’t become a doctor. Once they they they say your dissertation passed, your thesis passed and all that stuff, you become a doctor in your mind first. And she recognized that because she went from the woman who didn’t have anybody after her to having plenty of guys after her because she started to shift her mind and she started to learn about her beliefs, behaviors and skills, about how to relate to high quality, commitment minded, masculine men that she just didn’t know she didn’t get in school. And so that actually helped her get her her her doctorate. And so you become a doctor first in your mind. We’ve had several clients do that.

Speaker2: [00:06:23] It’s interesting because you think, wow, school is so busy and becoming a doctor is so overwhelming and doing a thesis and all that, it’s overwhelming. But we have a lot of women do that because they start to value their hopes and dreams more. Now, being with the man of your dreams is my guess, only one of the dreams that you have in your life. And so when when women work with us, all of their dreams start to come to fruition because they start to value their hopes and dreams inside of them. So what does this have to do with the first 3 minutes of of meeting a man? It has everything. Because if you don’t value your hopes and dreams, do you have hopes and dreams of having a family? Do you have hopes and dreams of maybe you’re a single mom having your your son, your daughter, your children have a father inside the home that they can respect and look up to. And who will will father them? You know, because mothers can’t father and fathers can’t mother. So kids need a mother and a father. Do you have hopes and dreams of traveling the world with your with your sweetheart? Do you have hopes and dreams of walking in to a Christmas, family, Christmas or holiday party and finally being the one who has a man that she’s proud of on her arm instead of, oh, she’s still single another year. She’s still single. Oh, wonder who she’s, you know, like, instead of that person being the person who’s like, hey, I got a man who’s who’s I’m proud of.

Speaker2: [00:07:52] And you know what? Who’s proud to to be with me. Proud to claim me in front of God and everyone. You know, the. The shift inside of valuing your hopes and dreams, believing that you have that what’s inside of you has value. Starts first with you. This is why we talk about how this is a journey of becoming your own soulmate first and becoming your own soulmate first, and going through the process of really developing from the inside out. Feminine radiance and courage. Is the process of you being able to energetically convey to a man by the energy that you have, but also by your cadence, by your walk, by how fast you move or don’t move, by how fast you talk and don’t talk. What you actually talk about conveys to him whether you are low value, whether you think little of yourself, whether you feel like the only thing you bring to the table here is sex and maybe cooking and cleaning or something like that. Or whether you have a shell of veneer of confidence. We meet more and more women now that have a veneer of confidence, but inside they feel very low self esteem because the veneer is I’ve got my career, I’ve gotten the money, I’ve got this and I’ve got that. But inside it’s like, What’s wrong with me? Why am I 35 years old? 40, 45, 50, 55, and I can’t find a good man.

Speaker2: [00:09:30] What’s wrong with me? So that is being conveyed because here’s the thing, men, they may not be able to articulate it in words, but they can tell that you don’t feel like a queen. You don’t feel like a woman who’s worthy of investing in what do you want the man to invest in? You want him to invest time in you, don’t you? Are you investing time in you? You want him to invest to take your dreams seriously, right? You want him to take you to to Paris. You have to believe that that dream of going to Paris is is important. You want him to have a family with you. You have to believe that that dream of having a family is important. We had a woman come to us at age 37 and say, well, I want to have a family and I want to figure out why it is that I’m making all these mistakes. I keep picking the wrong guys. I get ghosted. I was going out with one guy for a few years and then he dumped me and six months later he was getting married to somebody else. I want to figure out what this pattern is. But you know, I’m 37. I’m getting close to, you know, my biological clock is ticking really loud and I really want to have a child and I should really be investing in freezing my eggs and stuff like that.

Speaker2: [00:10:49] So what that is, is saying I want to have a family. I want to have the man of my dreams. But I’m not really willing to divert my plan from basically being alone forever. All right, I’m going to freeze my eggs and have my child alone, because even though I’m 37 and I do have have a very short amount of time, but I do have some time to attract the right man for me and be a husband, a father and stuff like that. I’m not willing to divert from my plan that I’ve been on the trajectory that I’m on. And so the conveyance to a man is what I really want isn’t as important as what I think I’m going to get. I think I’m going to be alone. So I should probably prepare for being alone. I you know, I don’t want to change things. I’m saving for a house or I want to get a bigger house. I mean, I’d like to have a house with a man, but I don’t really think that’s going to happen. So I’m going to just plan for that not happening. And then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. All of that is being conveyed to a man by so many things. The words you choose, the words you don’t choose, the way you talk about yourself and your life. The way you don’t talk about yourself and your life. It’s not that men are like, you know, psychic or anything like that.

Speaker2: [00:12:14] It’s just that they’re feeling the energy. And here’s the thing. You think men are self-centered and all that stuff? In one sense, yes. You know what a man wants to feel like? He wants to feel like a king. You know how he feels like a king to have a queen with him. You know how he has a queen with him? Not because he makes her a queen, but because she has made herself a queen. Not in a arrogant way, not in a veneer of I got I got the bling and stuff like that. But she values herself. She values her hopes and dreams, and she recognizes that she is what we call the relationship. Establish her and the relationship, navigator the relationship, establish her and navigator. In other words, he will feel like a king. When you feel like a queen, you will feel like a queen. When you actually value what is inside of you, how you think, how you feel, why you think a certain way, why you feel a certain way. One of the most common things that we find that women that work with us discover is that their thinking process has led them to where they are and when they unravel. With our help, we’re unraveling their thinking process that’s led them to the place that they don’t want to be. Because here’s the thing. If you find yourself in a dark alley as a metaphor, in a dark alley at three in the morning with a gun, and you’re thinking, should I shoot this person or should I shoot that person? The question isn’t which person youth you should be shooting? The question is how in God’s name did you end up in a frickin dark alley at three in the morning thinking that your only two options are to shoot this person or that person? We go back to not just earlier in the day, but what was your thinking process that had you think that that was your only choices? Right.

Speaker2: [00:14:07] And that’s what we’re looking at, is how you can think differently and end up in a completely different place. How you can feel differently about yourself. A good relationship is where both people feel like each of them got the better end of the deal. And if you don’t feel that a man being with you, he would be fortunate and that you could see yourself in a relationship where you would feel fortunate to be with that man. It’s never going to happen. Because here’s the thing. If you’re walking around saying, what’s wrong with men these days? What’s wrong with me? You’re conveying a low confidence in yourself. You’re conveying a low self esteem in yourself, and you’re not able to convey feminine radiance and courage. And he will pick all of that up in 3 minutes or less. So the question isn’t what you do in those 3 minutes. The question is, what have you been doing for the last few days and weeks and years? And for most women, what you have been doing is practicing all of the low value things that women do that have them show up as a plaything, as a woman to, you know, have a little fun with, but certainly not build a life with.

Speaker2: [00:15:28] And you walk in there thinking that the man will change that if you just found a good man. Here’s the thing. You’re missing the good men because they’re avoiding you and you’re actually avoiding them. And if you were to bump into a good man, would you even really recognize him? And would he even really want to be with you? Not because you’re not a good person, not because you’re not worthy, but because you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you think you deserve. And in that moment right there, he can tell what you think you deserve, what you feel you deserve. And he can tell that in that moment you may be feeling that you would be lucky to be with him. And he’s not feeling that he would be lucky to be with you because you’re hoping and praying that he’s the one you’re hoping and praying that he finds you attractive. You’re hoping and praying that he will not notice your wrinkles or your extra ten or £20 or the the the stress that you’ve been trying to cover up with drinking or busyness or extra work. You’re hoping that he doesn’t notice all that stuff and he may not be able to articulate it, but he reads it all.

Speaker2: [00:16:45] He can tell what’s going on inside of you. So we work with women who want to change from the inside out so that in those 3 minutes he has a feeling of woe. This woman. This woman maybe I could build a life with. Now, whether he’s the right guy for you or not, that’s a topic for a whole other day. Brought up a couple of topics for a whole other day. What does it mean to be the relationship established? Your navigator? What does it mean to anyway? Several other things. But you know, your decision making framework is what will determine that. And most women have the overwhelming majority of the women have no decision making framework or they have a poor quality decision making framework. And it leads them to make poor choices again and again and again. And that’s why you end up with a guy who, you know, you’re in a relationship with a guy for a year. He never tells you he loves you or you’re you’re sleeping with a guy. And then you discover that you’re not in a monogamous relationship, although you thought you were. You’re with a guy for three years, he dumps you and then he’s saying he’s not ready. It’s not me, it’s not you, it’s me. And meanwhile, six months later, you find out that he’s getting married to someone else. That’s the guys that you’re attracting. Not out of randomness, not because you’re a bad person, not because God doesn’t love you, but because you’re conveying the energy of.

Speaker2: [00:18:15] Kind of like free, cheap and easy girl plaything. Now, that doesn’t mean that you are a plaything. That doesn’t mean that you are free, cheap and easy, girl. That means that that’s what you’re conveying. And the the emotionally mature thing. When you recognize that you’re being treated as a plaything is, Well, how can I not do that? How can I not be treated as a plaything? And if you think that it’s just about the man, you are giving him way too much power and you’re you’re ignoring the power that you have. Because remember, I started out this this episode by telling you you have way more power than you think that you have. You have way more control than you have. And as I said, when we say that you are the relationship established and navigator, we mean that and that never stops. This is why we have women work with us in our programs to continue to up level their lives and continue to make their relationships better and better. Better because look around you. What do you see? A lot of poor quality relationships, right? A lot of dysfunctional relationships. So you want a man, you want a great relationship, but you really have no idea how to establish that, that you are the queen to his king. He is the king to your queen. You have no idea how to navigate the relationship so it gets better and better and doesn’t fizzle out.

Speaker2: [00:19:44] But you keep focusing on surface level things and wondering why he doesn’t take you seriously. Inside. Inside. All right. Because here’s the thing about life. We’re all going to get older. We’re all going to get maybe a little puffy or maybe not all of us gray, wrinkled, whatever. The surface level stuff. That’s going to fade. What’s really going to last and what’s really hot is being connected on the inside, connected to your hopes and dreams, connected to the magic that you have. Most women are completely unaware of the magic that they have. We help clients get back in touch with the magic that they have so they can bring that to a man. So the man is like, Oh my God, how did I get so lucky to be with you? And I got to tell you something. It’s not about absence of wrinkles. It’s not about being the ideal weight. And it’s not about saying the perfect line. Being able to do that flirting technique that you saw on YouTube. It’s about what’s going on inside of you. How much do you value inside of you? And then from that place, how do you learn the skills, the beliefs, the behaviors, the mindset of a woman who would actually be attracted to a high quality, commitment minded man who wants to have a family and build a life with a woman, and attractive to a high quality, commitment minded man who wants to build a life with a grown woman.

Speaker2: [00:21:25] You know, a grown man, right? Not a boy. Because there’s some boys that are like in their thirties or forties, but they’re just boys, right? The question isn’t what’s wrong with him? Dating you, treating you badly. The question is why the heck are you picking boys? And why the heck are you only seeing boys? Because love warriors are clients. They’re not just seeing boys. They see the boys. But that’s not all they’re seeing and they’re certainly not getting into long relationships with these clowns. It’s like if someone offered you, you know, you were hungry and someone offered you, here’s a pencil for you. Right? Or here’s here’s a pen for you. No one would say, Oh, let me just put some ketchup on that and eat that. No one would do that. Right? I mean, I hope not right now. You would say that’s not food. That’s completely that’s not even that’s not an option for me. I’m hungry. Sure, but I don’t want that. Right. So but somehow you’re seeing someone who’s completely inappropriate for you. Completely. Not up to your level. Completely. Not the kind of man that would be the co parent and co leader of your family. Not the masculine to your feminine. You’re not that. That kind of a man. If you’re not seeing that kind of man, but you’re looking at this boy, this guy who’s completely isn’t even on your level and you’re saying, well, maybe I could work with him and maybe I got to give him a break because of his childhood.

Speaker2: [00:23:07] No, you’re you’re accepting, like, here, here’s a pen. Eat that. Put a little ketchup on. Like, no, you’re accepting something that you shouldn’t even accept. And where does that come from? I don’t care how many of these knuckleheads are out there. Why are you dating him? Why are you upset about him treating you badly, but then wanting to get back together with him? Why are you even attractive to that man and attracted to that man? That is the underneath work that is learning. To walk with, talk with, move with, think with, and energetically radiate with feminine radiance and courage. That’s the process we take our clients through because in 3 minutes or less. The man is going to put you in one or the other category, and it’s extremely difficult to get out of the category of plaything once you’re in that category of plaything. It’s very, very difficult to get out of that category. You think, Oh, I’ll do this, and now kind of get him to like me a little bit, and then later I’ll show him how substantive I am. There’s so much normalizing of dysfunction going on that you even see on TV shows and movies, you know, things that are done. And it’s like it’s not the surface, it’s what’s going on inside. So have you ever felt like you’re being treated like a plaything or.

Speaker2: [00:24:43] You know, not. Not. Not being respected for the woman that you are and wondered why that is. And again, I’m not saying that you are a plaything or, like I mentioned, free, cheap and easy girl. I’m not saying that you are that, but sometimes you get treated like that. Sometimes just because the dude’s a sociopath. But not every guy is a sociopath. Right? There’s a few. Sure. But men are picking up on things. They’re picking up on who believes that they’re ready for a real relationship, who feels confident that they can handle the the energy of a healthy, thriving relationship and take her place next to him and really be that relationship established and navigate her, because men will continue to just do whatever is put before them. Oh, all he wants is sex. Because if he’s meeting a lot of women that just think of themselves as that’s all they have going for them, and they kind of present themselves as that. Is he going to want to have sex with them? Sure. Until a woman that he really likes comes along, until a woman who he wants to build a family with comes along. Until a woman who knows. Who the fuck she is? Comes along. That’s the journey of becoming your own soul mate first. That’s the journey of. Of of walking, talking, thinking, believing with feminine radiance and courage. And that’s the journey of becoming a lover. That’s what we do with our clients. So hope you enjoyed today’s episode. Bye for now.

Speaker1: [00:26:19] Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode. If you’re a single professional woman who wants your success in your love life to match your success in your career or business, and you’re looking to get crystal clear right now about why true love just hasn’t been knocking on your door and and what you can do about it. You’re going to want to book a Love Breakthrough Clarity call right now with one of our love breakthrough specialists. She’ll get on the phone or zoom call with you one on one to assess exactly what’s been holding you back and love what it is you really want and how to get there as quickly as possible. By the end of this compassionate and professional assessment, you’ll finally have clarity, plus an immediately actionable path forward. So just go to single to soulmate dot com forward slash call to book a call that’s single to soulmate dot com forward slash call for a free love breakthrough call. That’s for you. If you’re a single professional woman who is as serious about your love life right now as you’ve been about getting your degree or your career or business success. And if you’re ready to finally have some clarity and have a breakthrough in your love life right now, this is perfect for you. Again, that’s single soulmate dot com forego call to book your life changing one on one assessment call right away.

Episode Transcription End —>

Hope you enjoyed this episode of Single to Soulmate! If you want to learn more about Johnny and Lara or want to start your own soulmate journey, go to johnnyandlara.com.