Can hope actually hurt you? It can, if you’re putting your hopes where they shouldn’t be. But how do you decide how to hope? How can hoping even be a bad thing? We’ll talk about that in this episode.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

– Why you might be placing your hope in the wrong place

– How misplaced hope affects you

– Where & how to place your hope instead

READY TO CHANGE YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR THE BETTER, FOREVER?
If you’re ready for the first step towards major transformation & true love at last, head over to https://singletosoulmate.com/call to book a FREE 1-on-1 call with Lara herself. She’ll assess exactly what’s been holding you back in love, how to get what you REALLY want, and if or how we can help you get it as quickly as possible.

—-

Did you enjoy this episode?
If so, please let us know by leaving a review and sharing it with a friend that might get something out of it. To be notified when a new episode comes out, subscribe to the show on your favorite platform.

Episode Transcription Start —>
S6EP15

Speaker1: [00:00:03] Hello and welcome to single The Soulmate Podcast where we help you, the love warrior or love word to be to go from single to with your soulmate. Living the life of your dreams. The hope that hurts. Wait a minute. I thought hope was a good thing. How can hope hurt? Well, let’s talk about that. So I saw a post on on Facebook the other day and it was just so powerful and it said this The worst solutions are partial solutions that give us hope that our challenges will magically disappear with minimal effort. Wow. Partial solution. So partial piecemeal. That’s like a little tip, a trick. You know, you’re steering this thing one trick to get your ex back, one text to make him fall in love with you. Right. And so the worst solutions are partial solutions that give us hope that our challenges will magically disappear with minimal effort. You know, what’s interesting is we have always worked with exclusively with single women who don’t want to be single anymore. And what’s interesting is we’re starting to get more and more married women who are struggling, but they do recognize that something that they’re doing is making the marriage struggle. It doesn’t mean the other the husband doesn’t have a part in it as well, but they recognize that something that they’re doing is like strangling the life out of this relationship. And this is what we call like, hey, you’re the relationship established. You’re a navigator, whether you know it or not, whether you like it or not, whether you understand what to do with that power or not.

Speaker1: [00:01:50] And so we’re beginning to help married and otherwise partnered women learn really how to be that relationship established. You’re a navigator so you can navigate the relationship up. And so but of course, primarily we’re working with single women. But so so what does that have to do with this? Listen, each time you go that partial, that cheap, that that that tiny, that tippy, the tricky thing, you raise your hope that, hey, this one little tip, this is going to turn everything around. I know it’s been years and years and years, but I’m going to read this one blog. I’m going to get this one piece of information, boom, that’s going to turn everything around. But then what happens? Well, you know what happens. It doesn’t work. How do we know that? Because it’s been you’ve been reading one tip, one trick, one article, one piece of information, one new book. If I understood this, this my attachment style, if I understood my love language, if and I’m not saying those things aren’t good, but these are partial, these are piecemeal, these are intellectual. That’s all it is. Why doesn’t it work to do a partial solution, hoping that your challenge will magically disappear with minimal effort? Well, it’s written. It’s right there in that in that that post that I saw on Facebook, it’s minimal effort.

Speaker1: [00:03:07] It doesn’t take much to read a book. It doesn’t take much to read a blog post doesn’t take much to watch for you YouTube videos. But why doesn’t it work? Because it’s minimal effort and you got a major problem. You’ve got a major problem. It’s magical thinking to think that with minimal effort, with minimal investment of time, of energy, of resources, there’s going to be a major change. Now, does that ever happen? Yeah, it does. You put a quarter in the slot machine and you win $1,000,000. Does that happen? Sure. You’ve seen it on the casino ads, right? They put the billboards on the highways and stuff like that. Those of you that are not in American, yes, there are billboards on the highways like so-and-so put a dollar in the slot machine and now got $2 million. So anyway, does it happen? Sure it does. Sure it does. Once in a blue moon and once in a while. How do you think those casinos are building those big, fancy hotels? Because everybody’s getting $1,000,000 for putting a dollar in. No, because most people don’t. But here’s the thing. It works like that in rest of life, too. But each time you put that little quarter in the slot machine, each time you go for minimal effort, each time you do some partial little tip or trick and you let your hope rise and then nothing changes. You’re not just in the same place.

Speaker1: [00:04:31] It’s actually worse off because you believe in love a little less. You believe that there are good guys out there, a little less. You believe in yourself, a little less. Your self esteem goes down, your self confidence goes down. It affects every single area of your life. If you believe that life can be different and better, less tomorrow than you did today, how are you going to show up at work? If your self esteem and self confidence is less tomorrow than it is today, how are you going to show up at work? You’re going to get that promotion. Why? Why would you get that promotion when your self confidence is going down, when your self esteem is going down, when you’re when you’re just heartbroken over yet another dud relationship, three months and out or worse, three years and out, going nowhere. He always knew it was going nowhere. But you didn’t. You have less energy then to get up and do what it will really take to break through this major problem in your life and solve this major issue in your life. And I know you’re not supposed to say that this is a major issue. I know you’re not supposed to say that this is a huge problem. I know you’re not supposed to say that getting married to the right man for you is super important to you. You’re supposed to say you don’t need a man, you don’t care.

Speaker1: [00:05:59] You got friends, you got work. Yeah, but look, your job ain’t going to, you know, snuggle with you on a cold winter night. Your job ain’t going to bring you soup when you’re sick in bed. Your job isn’t going to hug you, kiss you on the forehead and tell you, Hey, baby, everything’s going to be all right. When you had a rough day and you just want to cry, you see the life you want. If it’s majorly important to you, then you can’t be dabbling in minimal effort with magical thinking. Because the fact is, it’s been years. It’s been years. And if it’s been years of gone around the same thing, struggling with the same thing. Well, that’s a major problem. That’s a major challenge. The fact is that when you look at have made minor progress, if any, over the last one year, three or five years, ten years. Well, that is a huge issue. It’s time to be real and don’t fall into magical thinking. Don’t put your quarter that hope that $1 in the slot machine and swear to yourself, God and everyone that you’re going to be an instant millionaire again. Yeah, it could happen. Chances are it’s not. You need more than that. You deserve more than that. You want more than that because you’ve tried all this other stuff. See, when you have a comprehensive, major solution to a major problem that is fucking majorly important to you.

Speaker1: [00:07:46] Well, then you look at, well, what do I need if I want to understand men more? Maybe I should be talking to a man if I want to understand. What does it mean to be feminine, radiant, and not like some kind of doormat or silly woman or something like that? You need a masculine, feminine, a man and a woman. You need an approach that’s coming from both sides. You need a some coaching from someone who’s been exactly where you’re at. That’s what we have. That’s why our comprehensive program brings you masculine and feminine approach from me and from Laura and a head coach who’s a former client who’s now a happily married woman, a community of other women who are just as serious about their major life goals as you are a step by step plan, a customized roadmap for you. Because, look, a book is a book. You can’t ask a book a question. You need a major proven track record. As I’m recording this, we’ve been doing this for 17 years. We don’t think your goals and dreams are minor. We don’t think your goals and dreams are impossible. In fact, we’ve seen it over and over again. It’s not minor, it’s not cheap, it’s not a fad or a trend or a trick. And it’s not magical thinking. It’s a major solution to a major problem for a woman who takes her dreams seriously. Now, all that said, when you take major action to actually solve a major problem.

Speaker1: [00:09:21] Here’s the thing God, spirit, the universe, your higher power shows up in magical ways. There’s so many of our clients that have absolutely magical things happen. But it didn’t start with magical thinking. It started with a plan, a whole new approach, something you haven’t ever done before. Having a man and a woman, a husband and wife, master coaches with well over ten years in 10000 hours guiding you step by step with a customized roadmap for you in a community of women who take their dreams seriously to turn things around. And you can turn things around. But not when you keep rising your hope and dashing your hope on the rocks, putting that quarter in the slot machine and going home, saying, Why aren’t I an instant millionaire? As your self-esteem goes down, your confidence goes down, and your joy, your brightness, your energy, your radiance just keeps fading and fading and fading and fading away. Another life is possible and another life is possible for you. But don’t keep trying. Minimal efforts with magical thinking, trying to solve a major, major problem. Get real with yourself. And decide that your dreams are that important. If you’re a single professional woman or woman who’s in a relationship that you’re struggling with and you want to have a breakthrough, you want to step up to major, you want to make your goals and dreams major in your life right now.

Speaker1: [00:11:12] Then get on the phone, talk with Laura, have her break down with you and and and and discover with you what do you really want and what’s stopping you? And how can you get to where you want to go as quickly as possible starting today. Go to single soulmate dot com forward slash call and book your love breakthrough call today. Well, maybe it won’t happen today, but book it today and it’ll happen in the next couple of days. Fill out a short application there so we know that we’re getting prepared, that we’re going to be properly prepared for you. It’s a totally free call, but it’s only for women that are ready to take their dream seriously. It’s only for women who recognize this is a major problem. I’m done sugarcoating it, numbing out, acting like, no, no, no, I’m fine. I got all that said, Look, you are fine. You’ve already proven that, but there’s something in you that ain’t fine. If you’re ready to say, You know what? I want to create major progress in my life. I want to have major breakthroughs in my life, all my life, to be majorly different and better. I want my love life to be majorly different and better. Go to single soulmate dot com forward slash call book that love breakthrough call today you’ll be happy you did. Thanks for joining us on Single Soulmate and we’ll talk to you again soon.

Episode Transcription End —>

Hope you enjoyed this episode of Single to Soulmate! If you want to learn more about Johnny and Lara or want to start your own soulmate journey, go to johnnyandlara.com.