Ever thought about hiring a matchmaker? Maybe you’ve tried everything and think that maybe you just need someone to fix you up with the right person. Well, honestly, that’s not always a good approach. Let’s talk about why a matchmaker might NOT be the solution for you.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

– How matchmakers can actually HURT your love life

– What you should try instead of matchmaking

– Why you can still find love WITHOUT a matchmaker

READY TO CHANGE YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR THE BETTER, FOREVER?

If you’re ready for the first step towards major transformation & true love at last, head over to https://singletosoulmate.com/call to book a FREE 1-on-1 call with Lara herself. She’ll assess exactly what’s been holding you back in love, how to get what you REALLY want, and if or how we can help you get it as quickly as possible.

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S6EP26

Speaker1: [00:00:03] Hello and welcome to single The Soulmate.

Speaker2: [00:00:06] Podcast where we help you, the love warrior or love word to be to go from single to with your soulmate. Living the life of your dreams.

Speaker1: [00:00:17] Hi there. This is Laura Fernandez, and I am here to talk to you about why matchmakers are a waste of time, why matchmakers are a waste of your precious time and energy. My name is Laura Fernandez and I have been coaching women along with my husband Johnny for 17 years. On how to find and keep the man of your dreams and how to go from single to soulmate quickly. So, listen, women come to us every day. They have tried everything. They’ve tried the dating apps. They’ve tried the YouTube videos, the YouTube solutions. They have listened to tons of podcasts. They’ve tried therapy, they’ve read the books. They’ve even maybe taken some online courses with hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of other people at the same time where they’re not there’s no personal attention. They tried everything. And finally, many of them actually get to the point where they’re considering matchmaking. Like, that’s like that’s what they get to the point where they feel like, Oh, I tried everything. Let me try matchmaking as well. And. Here’s the thing about that. While I definitely salute you and I support you when I think the things that you’re doing aren’t working to ask yourself, What else can I do? I support that. And as a love and life coach, a holistic love and life coach, I think that’s a great question to ask yourself. Like like I’m doing the dating apps and doing the YouTube videos. I’ve watched, I listen to some podcasts, I’ve got the therapy.

Speaker1: [00:01:54] I’ve done a meditation retreat. The yoga retreat, yeah. I’ve read five books in the last few months on Relationships in Men. Oh yeah, I took that online course, but I never got any personal attention or focus. But I did take that online course. So I salute you in getting to the point where you’re like, Okay, I’ve tried all this stuff, what else can I do? And so that’s a very powerful question, and that’s an awesome question. But here’s why. Matchmakers are a waste of your precious, precious time and energy, and they don’t actually work for most people. So number one. This is huge. You are giving away your power to another person. You are giving away your decision making power to somebody else. Okay. So what that means is that you’ll never learn a like on your own how to make clear, healthy decisions around men like how to choose a man you’ll never when you’re giving away your decision making power to somebody else, your pick that your picker, you’re giving away the power of your picker to somebody else. You are abdicating your own personal responsibility and giving it to somebody else. So what that means is that you don’t stand on your own two feet. You don’t know how to when it comes to choosing men. So you are really at risk for repeating the patterns of the past in your relationships when you don’t know how to really.

Speaker1: [00:03:30] Actually, you haven’t fixed your picker and you don’t have a solid framework for thinking, for deciding whether a man is even worth your time, deciding whether he’s worth a first date, a second date, a third day deciding is he worth even getting into a relationship with and deciding that quickly. So matchmakers don’t give you that. They don’t give you a a they don’t help you fix your picker. Again because their focus is just getting you matched up, but they’re not teaching you how to choose. This is super important. So that’s number one. You’re giving away your power to another person. Number two, matchmaking doesn’t focus on your personal growth at all. Kay Nor do matchmakers give you tools, practices, principles that you can lean on to help you understand how men think, to help you really recognize how quality men show up, how a quality man shows up to you, how quality and quality man thinks, and how he, how he what he says and what his actions are like. So you can recognize them. And then. The reason that they don’t give you this is because, again, the matchmaker, they’re doing their best. She’s doing her best. But she’s incentivized to just give you dates, give you dates, give you dates, hoping that somehow it’s going to magically work out. But she’s not. She’s not going to give you a decision making framework to weed out the the guys that just aren’t a match.

Speaker1: [00:05:04] Right. And a matchmaker is not going to. Coach U on what to do if you’re lucky enough to even find a quality man. Right. She’s not going to she’s not going to coach you on how to spiral up that relationship. She’s not going to coach you on how to not unknowingly, unconsciously self sabotage. Right. So matchmakers don’t look at you holistically. They don’t take the time to really understand your unique situation and look at your day to day life. Certainly you’ll tell them like certain basics, but it’s pretty it’s pretty superficial. So they’re the matchmaker is not going to coach you to success. She’s not going to give you turn by turn directions in dating. Right. Because here’s what else a matchmaker is not going to know. How to ask certain questions to see how your your day to day life is actually set up and what is blocking you. You right now, if you have been trying to find love and you have been working on it, you’ve been doing those things, the dating apps, the YouTube videos like we talked about podcasts and all that stuff and therapy and all of that, but nothing’s working. Well, maybe you’ve been avoiding it all. All along you just been like. I’m not going to date at all. See, there are ways that your whole life, your day to day life is structured and set up that is blocking love.

Speaker1: [00:06:40] A matchmaker doesn’t know what to do about that, and matchmaker doesn’t know how to look for that. Okay. So see, that’s super important. Okay. So that’s number two now. Number three, a matchmaker. I just looked up online, a matchmaker in the area that I’m in here in Arizona. And we’re talking about $25,000 all the way up to $250,000 for a matchmaker. So the price. Is great for. You know, I mean maybe I don’t know, CEOs and stuff, but for. Your average professional woman, she’s not going to spend, you know, 25, 35, 55, 65, 75, $100,000 just to. To have some dates. You can do that for for low cost, for free on Match.com. All right. So I wanted to share with you, if I can put it in the comments. I don’t know if I can put it in the comments. Let me see if it’ll let me. No, I can’t. I’ll try to put it in there later. I want to show you the screenshot of that of that matchmaking company. I’m not going to show you the company himself, but what they said. So I’m all about investing time, energy and resources into your dream. This is super important. Any time you want to move your life forward in any way, you invest time, energy and money into your dream. You want it to get a high level job someday. You went to school, right? You went to to college. You went to university.

Speaker1: [00:08:22] You wanted to move up. You wanted to have choices once you graduated. So you went to grad school, right? Maybe you got your doctorate, whatever you invest, time, energy and money and what really, really matters to you. So matchmaking in terms of the investment is not a solid return on your investment, really giving you the tools, teaching you how to make decisions around men, around relationships, teaching you exactly like the practices, the principles to lean on, the solid principles to lean on, to help you not only choose a man, but to spiral up with him, to not only get a man’s attention, but to keep his love and to keep him wanting to step up and to cherish you and to treat you like a queen, to do that for a lifetime, that’s a whole other skill set. And matchmakers are not going to give you that. So those are the three reasons why matchmaking is a waste of your precious time and energy. Now in our program, True Love at Last, our program, we give our clients a decision making framework. We teach them this is a time tested over 17 years, a solid decision making framework. So you’re not only just you’re not just like told to date. We’re not even focusing on that. First, we’re actually teaching you how to think about this, how to look at this, how to make decisions quickly so you’re not wasting your time in another dead end relationship.

Speaker1: [00:09:54] Right. You’re not wasting your time dating and dating and dating. You’re getting the the low quality men out quickly. You’re learning how to recognize them quickly and how to understand what a quality man is looking for and what a quality man, how he how he shows up and then. And in our program, we actually we actually give you not only the decision making framework, but really like how to. How to go about making whatever relationship, like when you attract a quality man, how to keep him, how to keep that relationship growing and expanding to its next level. Because I’m here to tell you, once you find him, what the heck do you do with him? How do you not, you know, sabotage a relationship? We have a lot of clients that we’re helping right now with that these are amazing women. These are badass, accomplished professional women who have a lot of love to give, who are awesome women and. How to create a relationship that to build a relationship, that’s not something they didn’t have role models for that. That’s not something they were taught. I’m certain you weren’t taught in school about this, right? I wasn’t. All right. So I had to do the research and had to apply it in my own life. And I did this. And now we’re talking about it took me actually five years of intense research and applying it to my life. These these tools, these practices, these principles.

Speaker1: [00:11:27] To attract Johnny. And then it took Johnny and me five years together to create a template, a a whole system. For for others to follow. And that’s what we’ve been doing. So you need to know how to think. You need to know how to focus. You need to know how to set up your life as well. This is something else like what we do in our in our to love it last program. We have, we give you a four page intake form where we’re going over. We’re asking questions about your whole life, like how your whole life is going. We’re able to see very quickly because we’ve been doing this, we can see certain things that you’re doing or not doing that are actually blocking love, that are actually really becoming a wall between you and a quality man. So and we’re able to help you and coach you through that. So we do kind of like a hand-holding step by step. We guide our clients through. Right. So then when you do get out there, you have that solid decision making framework, right? So you’re making better choices. You’re able to weed out the low, low quality men really quickly. So you’re not wasting any more time with the low quality men. Right. And you have solid tools, practices and principles to lean on as you grow in a relationship and you know how to build a relationship that’s going to last and that will inspire your man and inspire a quality man to put a ring on your finger and to claim you as his forever, and to keep that relationship growing and growing and spiraling up.

Speaker1: [00:13:04] That’s what we invite our clients to do. So it’s inner work first. So we say what we say in our program is don’t get out there more. Don’t get out there more at first. First, get in more. Do the inner work. That’s the work that we’re doing. And then with a solid strategy, a solid plan, get out there with the proper tools, practices and principles, and then you cannot fail. And that’s why our clients are so successful. So listen. Now you know why. Matchmakers are a waste of your time. So instead, what I’m going to invite you to do is look at how important is finding the man of your dreams, getting married, maybe creating a family, whatever that looks like for you. How important that is, is that to you on a scale of 1 to 10? I mean, really take a moment and ask yourself, how important is this? Really? Of course you have to work and of course you have to, you know, travel and you have to do maybe you have to take care of elderly parents or whatever. But how important is your dream to you? And it’s on a scale of 1 to 10, it’s anything less than a ten.

Speaker1: [00:14:15] That’s fine. It’s just good to know that. But for those of you who are watching, who watch this, and if you’re a ten, maybe like an 11 on that scale, I have opened up a few slots in the next couple of days for a free love breakthrough. Call with me. Now, this is only for the committed. This is only for women who are ready to change their life in 2022, so that by this time next year, June the sixth of 2023, their whole life is different. They have a ring on their finger, or they’re about to have a ring on their finger with a man of their dreams and their whole life is different. So if that’s you, you’re a ten on that scale. You’re ready to change your life. We can talk about what’s not working in your love life right now and what do you want to have happen instead. And then if we can help you with that, I’ll show you what that looks like if we can. I’m going to point you in another direction. I just like I literally don’t invite everybody into our program. I will give you other resources. So, again, this is only for the committed. This is only if you are taking this seriously enough. And you’re willing to work past your comfort zone here. And then we’ll get on the phone and we’ll talk. And we’ll see. All right. So thanks for being here with me.

Speaker1: [00:15:34] I want to kind of quickly recap for you. Number one. The problem with matchmaking is you’re giving away your decision making power. That’s number one. You are. And here’s what else. If you think that that is a solid strategy, giving away your power, you’re giving away your power in other areas of your life in some way, shape or form. Because how you do anything is how you do everything. Those two are related. So you’re giving away your decision making power. You never learn, you know, on your own a solid decision making framework. So it’s kind of random work and you don’t stand on your own two feet. And number two, matchmaking doesn’t focus on your personal growth at all. It’s an external approach. So they don’t give you tools, practices and principles to lean on to help you. They don’t help you understand how men think, and they don’t help you weed out the low quality men because their incentive is just to give you guys to date. Right. And then number two or number three, rather. Matchmakers their investment is not worth the the return on your investment. So 25000 to 250000 is what you’re looking at in terms of investment. So. Thanks for joining me here today. Be courageous. Step forward. If you’re really out of ten or 11 and you’re ready to. It’s that important. I’d love to talk to you. All right. Thanks for joining me again today. And I will be around soon. All right. Bye bye.

Speaker3: [00:17:04] Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode.

Speaker1: [00:17:06] If you’re a.

Speaker3: [00:17:07] Single professional woman who wants your success in your love life to match your success in your career or business, and you’re looking to get crystal clear right now about why Truelove just hasn’t been knocking on your door.

Speaker1: [00:17:19] And and what you can do about it.

Speaker3: [00:17:21] You’re going to want to book a Love Breakthrough Clarity call right now with one of our love breakthrough specialists. She’ll get on the phone or zoom call with you one on one to assess exactly what’s been holding you back and love what it is you really want and how to get there as quickly as possible. By the end of this compassionate and professional assessment, you’ll finally have clarity plus an immediately actionable path forward. So just go to single to soulmate dot com forward slash call to book a call that’s single to soulmate dot com forward slash call for a free love breakthrough call. That’s for you. If you’re a single professional woman who is as serious about your love life right now as you’ve been about getting your degree or your career or business success. And if you’re ready to finally have some clarity and have a breakthrough in your love life right now, this is perfect for you. Again, that’s single soulmate dot com forward slash call to book your life changing one on one assessment call right away.

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Hope you enjoyed this episode of Single to Soulmate! If you want to learn more about Johnny and Lara or want to start your own soulmate journey, go to johnnyandlara.com.