Have you ever felt frustrated or just straight up confused with today’s dating culture? We know it’s rough in the dating world right now. But does that mean finding your soulmate is impossible, or that you have to settle for less? Listen to this episode to learn how to navigate today’s complex dating culture and finally find true love at last.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

– How our now happily married clients faced today’s dating culture, and what you can learn from them

– WHY dating has gotten harder

– How to navigate today’s dating climate to find real, lasting love

WANT TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF IN JUST 2 MINUTES BETTER?

After over 17 years of helping hundreds of women find their soulmates, we’ve identified 5 different Love Patterns, each with different characteristics that can keep you from finding true love.

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Episode Transcription Start —>
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Speaker1: [00:00:03] Hello and welcome to Single The Soulmate.

Speaker2: [00:00:06] Podcast, where we help you the Love Warrior or a love word to be to go from single to with your soulmate. Living the life of your dreams. Today’s dating culture can be so frustrating and can be so downright toxic. Let’s take a brief history of how the heck did we even get here? Let’s talk about that. So today’s culture of dating has been described. We asked in our Facebook group, it’s called The Love Breakthrough for Single Women. We asked in our Facebook group, on a scale of 1 to 5, how frustrated are you with today’s dating culture? And there’s four. It’s 4.9, so there’s fives. You know what? There’s a lot of tens, twenties, a hundred. Like I’m on a scale of 1 to 5, I’m frustrated to a level 100 with today’s dating culture. So one of the things that that I wanted to take a few minutes and just connect with you about is how recent dating that we, as we understand it even is so and then we’ll talk about what to do about it. So before 1900, dating wasn’t even something that was done. The way we think of dating, it wasn’t even something that was done. It was just like a family and community kind of endeavor. There was courtship. Every every woman was chaperoned in the the late 1890s, the early 1900s, things started to evolve. And it wasn’t even until 1920s that dating, the word dating even became like a common term. It was their first called independent dating, meaning no chaperone.

Speaker2: [00:02:02] That’s how new it was, 1920s. And so and of course, since the 1920s and now we’re talking a lot more independence and freedom. But with more independence and freedom comes more responsibility, more complexity, more options, more choices and more chances to screw things up. Right? So a lot of women come to us. They are successful in their careers. They have a nursing degree, a doctorate degree, a CPA, you know, masters, doctorate, whatever, doctor, lawyer, whatever. But you have some kind of a profession, right? And so that profession you invested a lot of time in a lot of expertise, was helping you every step of the way. But when you think about dating, dating is new, relatively new. And your parents, your grandparents, they couldn’t have helped you with this. So even if you had great role models in your parents and grandparents, their experience of dating would have been so dramatically different than yours that any advice that they gave you would be it would be hard to find how relevant it is today. Not that it wouldn’t be good advice, but be hard to apply it to today, right? I mean, no one could have prepared you for the internet itself, right, with online dating and the apps and and and porn and the lack of routes, even Like there’s so much movement in American society today, I heard where Americans move about as much. I mean, move from town to town, city to city, state to state about as much as people in war torn countries.

Speaker2: [00:03:57] Isn’t that wild? So we move a lot. And Laura and I just moved here to the Valley of the Sun, the Scottsdale and Phoenix area from California. And before that, Laura was I had grown up in mostly in Florida, I had grown up in New York City. And so even in our own life, we can see the the movement. But a lot of people have moved. And so that creates an unsettled kind of population. And then, like I said, all of the dramatic changes from just online dating to to the apps now with the Tinder and Bumble and all that type of stuff and the the virtual destruction of healthy, masculine feminine dynamics. And so what we find is that there are no rules. And so everyone’s breaking the rules all the time, right? And so there’s complete freedom. And so everybody’s doing something very, very different. And in today’s dating culture, one person’s freedom is someone else’s offense, one person’s authenticity is someone else’s rudeness. And so what we find is that the frustration level is so high because most people. Are approaching the whole dating process, the whole love life process the same way, or very similar to how their parents and grandparents or even how they did ten years ago. I mean, I’m not even going to get into all the statistical evidence that there is of the dramatic shifting of dating in the last ten years now. Laura and I have been coaching women to to really create the the life of their dreams and and and attract the love of their life for over 17 years.

Speaker2: [00:05:53] So this is almost two decades we have seen the changes in it. This is why we number one, we stay up to date on the trends and the shifts in culture in dating, why our coaches are less far removed from. Because Laura and I have gotten together over 22 years ago, so our coaches who are were once single just like you, and committed themselves to a different path to our programs are what we call the Love Warrior path, which is becoming your own soulmate. First, learning healthy, masculine feminine dynamics and then dating in a whole different way. They’re now happily married women with families, and but they are they have applied what they’ve learned to it. And so we have our staying up to date on on research. We have their experience and of course, all of us at the Feminine Radiance and Courage Institute stay up to date on what is happening today. And I share that with you because the the reality is that even over the last, like I said, nearly two decades, dating and expectations have changed quite dramatically. And we see that in our clients. And even as recent as the pandemic and the lockdown and all that type of isolation and everything, we were helping clients through that, believe it or not, dating safely, of course, meeting the love of their life. We have one woman right now who met.

Speaker2: [00:07:30] She didn’t even see her her her dates face in person. And he didn’t see her face in person for a long time because they were masking and social distancing and stuff like that. Anyway, they’re on a vacation. They’re engaged now. They’re on a vacation now in Europe, just the way we helped her envision it at that time. But the point is that things have changed a lot. And so the things that you and sometimes people think, oh, it’s online dating, it’s not online dating, it’s that the approach to online dating is is like, you know, using a horse and buggy to a Formula One race. It’s just it’s not that a horse and buggy is bad. It’s just that it doesn’t really apply to this particular endeavor that you’re doing. And so the approach to it is is all wrong. We do in our programs, we do a online profile makeover. And so we look at women’s profiles when they walk in and we look at other women’s profiles in Match.com and all of that. And well over 90% of them are. Absolutely. I’m just going to try to find a good word for it. But just there horrible for attracting a good man and they’re fantastic for attracting creeps and weirdoes. And and the thing is that you don’t even know that you’re doing it. It’s you’re smart person, you are articulate, you know how to how to write and things. But your your what we see is that your online profile is the reason is one step of the reason why your online dating experience is so terrible.

Speaker2: [00:09:20] And then how the interaction how the interplay is. This is a a a situation where most women have no idea of the power that they have to steer the relationship we call it you’re the relationship established. You’re a navigator. But most women have no idea that they’re the relationship established. You’re a navigator. So it’s like two people are in a car called the relationship or the dating process. You, as the woman, are sitting in the driver’s seat, but you have no idea that that circle in front of you is the steering wheel and you actually can steer things. And and it has nothing to do with your intelligence. In fact, the more intelligent and successful you are, the less aware you are of the power that you have as a woman. Now, you understand what you the power that you have in at work as a professional and things like that. But the way you’re steering the dating process is absolute wrong way to be able to get what it is that you want in, in, in life. And the evidence is just look at however old you are and consider. Did you ever think you’d be single at this age? Almost every woman that we connect with on our YouTube channel and our podcast in our Facebook group, getting on our list through various means all say no, no way.

Speaker2: [00:10:52] Even I’m 29. I never thought I would be. I thought I’d already be married and I’m unmarried. Nobody in sight. I’m 36, I’m 38, I’m 39, I’m 40, I’m 42, I’m 45 and 50, whatever. I never thought I would be this age and still be single and not just single, but single with no prospects in sight and a wreckage of past relationships that are like either so-so or downright terrible. So what does all this say about today’s dating culture? Today’s dating culture has evolved so much in the last hundred little over a hundred years that if you’re not using the most up to date strategy and yes, I’m going to use the term strategy because here’s the thing. There are a lot of knuckleheads out there, a lot of losers, a lot of narcissists, a lot of Bummy guys. You know, I’m from New York, so I call them knuckleheads. There’s a lot of knuckleheads out there. But how do you, number one, stop wasting time with knuckleheads and how do you stand out so that the good guys who are looking for a good woman can notice that you’re actually different than the women? Now, this may be kind of controversial here. The women that are knuckleheads themselves now are they’re great women that aren’t finding great men. Yes. Are there great men that aren’t finding great women? Yes. So somebody’s got to do something about that. Right. And so to blame it all on the guy is to to again, going back to that analogy, you are the relationship established.

Speaker2: [00:12:30] You’re a navigator. So if you are not even aware of that, then you’re you’re like a car driving down the hill. Everybody’s screaming about how this car is out of control and you’re not realizing that that circle in front of you is for you to take control of, not in the way you take control at work, but to take control in a different way with feminine radiance, what we call feminine radiance and courage, so that you can be an effective relationship established or a navigator. You can stand out for those high quality, masculine men who are successful and who are looking for a wife. Because the way you show up in a relationship in the dating process is establishing the way things are going to go. And men can tell in a very I’m going to save this for another podcast episode, but men can tell very quickly whether you are someone to just have a little fun with or whether you are a possible person, a woman that he might want to build his life with. But the dating culture is and you may have had this experience, it’s just a cesspool of a lot of of of drama and a lot of lying and stuff like that. But the idea is, why are you running up against. Those guys when there are good guys out there looking for a good woman. There are high quality men who who say they cannot even find a good woman to to date and to marry.

Speaker2: [00:14:02] Why is that happening? Why is it that when we first started, love, coaching wasn’t even hardly a thing? And nowadays there’s love coaching for men and women because the culture has has encouraged everyone to do everything, like basically just ask backwards and wrong. And so this process of learning how to be the the, the, the relationship, establishing your navigator, how to really exude feminine radiance and how to have the courage to live the life that you really want, not the life that the culture is telling you, that the society is telling you that your teachers told you that your mom and dad told you not that life, the life that you really want, that takes some concentrated effort and it takes some some focus as if it really mattered. So I’m not going to tell you that the dating culture is not messed up. It is. And I’m not going to tell you that that that. You know, there’s some magic wand to make it all better. What I am going to tell you is I want you to think about your college degree, your master’s degree, your doctorate, your your bar exam, your your boards, whatever it is that you have have succeeded at your business, you know, making that first, you know, the first six figures or the first seven figures or whatever it is, wherever you have found success, what you have done most likely is you have studied success and you have done something different than what most people are doing, because plenty of people are, you know, smart, good people who wanted to be doctors and lawyers and just didn’t do it.

Speaker2: [00:15:48] Why they didn’t follow the path of success. And there are a lot of good women, good people, men and women. But, you know, you’re a woman. I’m talking to women in our in our community, many, many good women who can’t find a good man. And it’s not because of lack of being a good person. And it’s not really because of the dating culture being messed up is because they’re using the wrong strategy and the wrong approach, and they don’t know what it means to be the relationship established your navigator. They don’t know how to have healthy, masculine feminine dynamics, and they don’t even understand the power that they have. So I’m going to say that to you. You don’t understand the power that you have to turn this around. The reason why our program works when others don’t is because while you’re at work doing whatever it is that you’re doing at work, we’re studying what’s going on in culture, what’s going on with human interactions, what’s going on with human psychology, what’s going on with with the literal rewiring of our brains because of the Internet and the smartphones and all that stuff. And how is that affecting our relationships? So if you’re looking to really have a different approach, if you’re really looking to. To be a successful in your love life, you got to recognize that the game has changed.

Speaker2: [00:17:11] Not really a game, but, you know, the dating culture has changed. And this toxicity level that you’re experiencing, it’s not going to get better on its own. It’s actually going to get worse. The question is, are you going to be one of the people who are. Ten, 20, 30 years older than you are right now. Having missed out on having a family, having your children or child grow up without a father in the home, having growing old alone and complaining about how the dating culture has been so terrible and the narcissist or are you going to be one of the women, like the women in our community who are celebrating every day? We have one woman in our. One of our programs was celebrating that she literally can’t keep up with how much good stuff the man her her soon to be fiance. They’re talking about their future. She’s just basically waiting for him to pop the question. But they’re planning their lives, meeting families, all of that type of stuff. Really high quality man, Very high quality man, She said. I can’t even keep up with all of the good stuff that he does for me. I’ve never, ever had a man treat me so well, and this is what our clients say all the time. They have never had a man treat them so well. Is it because they found the one needle in a haystack? No. It’s because they understand masculine feminine dynamics.

Speaker2: [00:18:33] They understand their role as a relationship establishment navigator. They understand a new decision making framework on who to include in, in, in dating, who do not include because, you know, just wasting time with somebody who you miss the signs early on it waste time and it wastes your your heart. So that’s what we’re doing in our community. That’s what’s available for you. And we’re not going to argue with you that the dating culture is messed up. The question really is what are you going to do about it and what are you going to do about it now? Because time is ticking away. If you are thinking that you want to have a family, the time to do something about this is now. If you have a child or children in the home and you think they would benefit from having a father in the home, not just a father, but a high quality, successful, masculine man who would be an excellent role model for your child or children. The time is now to do something about it. And if you’d like our help, we’re happy to help you. So listen for how to Get a Masterclass The five step Game plan to go from single to soulmate as quickly as possible and keep listening to this to this podcast. We have lots more to share with you and I encourage you to just go back from the beginning and binge listen. There’s plenty here for you. Have a great day or night whenever you’re listening or wherever you’re listening. Bye for now.

Speaker1: [00:20:06] Hey, thanks for tuning into today’s episode. If you’re a single professional woman who wants your success in your love life to match your success in your career, and you’re looking to get crystal clear right now about why true love hasn’t been knocking on your door and how to have that happen sooner rather than later. Like, not literally, though that would be weird, but I hope you know what I’m saying. Anyway, you’re going to want a book, a call, a love breakthrough clarity call right now with my dear wife, Dr. Lara. Yes. Lara herself will get on the phone or Skype with you one on one to assess exactly what’s been holding you back and love what it is you really want and how to get there as quickly as possible. Just go to single to soulmate dot com forward slash call to book a call that single to soulmate dot com forward slash call for free love breakthrough clarity call that is for you if and only if you’re a single professional woman who is as serious about her love life right now as you’ve been about getting your degree or your career success. So again that’s single to soulmate dot com forward slash call to book your life changing love breakthrough clarity call right away.

Episode Transcription End —>

Hope you enjoyed this episode of Single to Soulmate, brought to you by Feminine Radiance and Courage Institute! If you want to learn more about Johnny and Lara or want to start your own soulmate journey, go to johnnyandlara.com.